Clueless About Etiquette? Here's How Cher Scores 30 Years Later

What made her iconic was her confidence, and her heart. Even when she got it wrong (which, let’s be honest, was often), she always meant well.

So, in honor of this milestone, let’s ask a fun question: Would Cher Horowitz pass a modern etiquette test?

We’re putting her through five real-world scenarios and giving her a letter grade in each. Not to judge, Cher’s doing her best, but to reflect on how timeless good manners really are. Spoiler: they’re not about perfection. They’re about care, self-awareness, and growth.

Is an RSVP Like, Totally Optional? 

There’s no wedding in “Clueless,” but we do see Cher constantly navigating her social calendar; juggling school events, parties, and impromptu matchmaking schemes. Her approach to plans is fluid at best. Whether it’s a spontaneous Valley party or a makeover marathon for her friend Tai, Cher treats invitations more like suggestions than commitments.

Today’s etiquette calls for a little more structure. RSVPs should be prompt, dates and friends should only come when invited, and ghosting an event after saying yes? A definite no.

Cher’s Grade: B–

She’d arrive in style and bring a lovely gift, but she may not reply on time or resist the urge to improvise. 

Working a Room with Kindness and Grace 

At the infamous Valley party, Cher proves she knows how to work a room. She welcomes Tai, orchestrates introductions, and even engineers a (disastrous) dance with Elton to help her new friend feel included. For all her flaws, Cher is rarely cliquish. She wants people to feel seen, especially those who might otherwise be overlooked.

That instinct? Etiquette gold. Being the person who brings others in and makes them feel welcome is one of the most valuable (and overlooked) social graces.

Cher’s Grade: A–

Occasionally self-centered, sure. But socially generous? Absolutely. And she doesn’t just talk; she acts, which we love! 

The Tipping Point: Gratitude for Service

We see Cher hopping in and out of her white Jeep, shopping bags in hand, with the casual ease of someone used to valet parking and personal drivers. But there’s one thing missing: we never actually see her tip. Not the driver, not the parking attendants, not the service staff helping her through her day.

Maybe it was a script oversight. Or maybe she tips generously and discreetly without fanfare, in which case, bravo. But it’s worth noting: expressing gratitude, especially to those in service roles, is a fundamental part of modern etiquette. It’s not about being flashy. It’s about being intentional.

Cher’s Grade: C

If we’re making the big assumption that there were no off-camera tips given, it’s not that she’s rude; it’s likely that she forgets. And in etiquette, forgetting often feels like dismissing.

Speak with Style, But Also Strength

Cher’s voice is iconic. Airy, confident, and full of upward inflection; what we now call upspeak. She wasn’t the first to talk like that, but “Clueless” definitely helped cement the “Valley Girl” vocal trend in pop culture.

Today, upspeak is still polarizing. In casual conversation, it can sound light and engaging. But in high-stakes settings, like job interviews or professional presentations, it can unintentionally undermine your credibility. That rising tone can make even a confident point sound like a question.

Cher’s instincts are solid; she owns a room. But to help her voice land with more authority, modern etiquette would suggest:

• Visualize a period. Instead of letting your voice trail upward, imagine placing a period at the end of your sentence. Let the tone drop gently to signal completion, and confidence.

• Support with breath. Runway-worthy posture and low belly breathing can help ground your voice and prevent vocal fry or breathiness at the end of a phrase.

• Finish strong. Focus on clarity and volume through the final word, not just the first few. A strong ending is often what sticks.

Cher’s Grade: B–

Charming? Always. But would her voice carry the same weight in a boardroom or on a panel? Maybe not without a little vocal coaching.

Word Watch: Correcting Someone’s Pronunciation

From debate class to the lunch table, Cher isn’t shy about correcting others, often with a smirk. Her infamous pronunciation of “Haitians” (“Hate-ee-ans”) during a class speech is a standout moment. She’s confident, sure. But she also interrupts, corrects, and occasionally embarrasses her peers in front of others, particularly Amber.

Modern etiquette asks for something a little different. Instead of calling someone out, we model. Instead of correcting publicly, we support quietly. Kindness first, cleverness second.

Cher’s Grade: C

She’s sharp and quick, but not always soft. And sometimes, the gentlest people are the ones we remember most.

The Big-Hearted Test: Offering Real Help

Early in the film, Cher takes on a project: turning Tai into someone more polished, more socially accepted, more... Cher-adjacent. It’s not necessarily mean-spirited, but it’s definitely self-directed. She wants to help, but mostly on her own terms.

Later, though, we see a change. After a string of personal realizations, Cher shifts gears. She organizes a relief drive for Pismo Beach disaster victims. No ulterior motives. No fashion angle. Just a young woman wanting to help people who need it.

That’s the evolution etiquette is really about. Not perfection, but empathy.

Cher’s Grade: A

Growth is the ultimate grace. And Cher proves she’s capable of it.

Final Verdict

Would Cher Horowitz pass a modern etiquette test?

Maybe not with flying colors, but she’d pass. And with time (and a little less sarcasm), she’d probably end up teaching the class. Because the truth is, etiquette isn’t about being flawless. It’s about being thoughtful. It’s about showing up with heart. And it’s about realizing, just like Cher eventually does, that the best kind of makeover is the kind you do from the inside out.

She may have started “Clueless,” but by the end? She’s anything but.

If you have a question for a future Ask Alison segment, kindly email info@elevateetiquette.com.

Alison M. Cheperdak, J.D., is the founder of Elevate Etiquette, a consultancy where she teaches modern manners in a gracious and grounded way. She is the author of a forthcoming book, “Was It Something I Said? Everyday Etiquette to Avoid Awkward Moments in Relationships, Work, and Life.”