Why Is Every Man I'm Attracted To Right-Leaning?

As someone who has a love-hate relationship with politics, I often think about politics regarding dating. Could I date someone who has different political beliefs? How much would I be willing to compromise? How much do I want my future husband’s values to align with mine? 

Looking back at my dating history, I've always been interested in right-leaning guys, which is interesting because I used to be left-leaning myself. What's even more interesting is that I'm not alone in this conundrum. Women of many political persuasions tend to find right-leaning men more attractive, despite being more likely to identify as liberal or progressive.

My Political Journey

Growing up, I was a liberal Democrat. My parents were Democrats, and like most kids, I followed their lead. Luckily, they raised me to think for myself (the older I get, the more I realize how many parents don't do this) and always ask questions. And I always knew they would still accept me if I ever thought differently from them.

The issue I was most passionate about was marriage equality, something I still hold dear to my heart and firmly believe in. When marriage equality passed in 2015, I was 21 years old and had just finished my junior year of college. The timing was interesting, as I started questioning my political beliefs around the same time. I majored in history and learned that my beliefs regarding the size of government and economics were more conservative than I had initially thought. I remember finding the political compass test that I took in high school (which then said that I was liberal), and upon retaking it, my results said I was a moderate. When marriage equality passed, it finally hit me that I was a single-issue voter, and I went from Democrat to Independent.

To this day, I still identify as an Independent but am definitely conservative-leaning. I'm fiscally conservative and socially moderate, yet I am not comfortable with the label of Libertarian or Republican. When I vote, my ballot isn't purely red or purely blue; it's a mix of both and who I think is best to represent my town, district, state, or country.

Despite My Personal Beliefs, I Was Always Attracted To Right-Leaning Guys

Before I continue my story, there are a few things that I want to make clear. There are good-looking and masculine left-leaning men out there, and there are plenty of guys of all political persuasions who treat women terribly. I'd go as far as to say that any guy (conservative or liberal) pursuing a career in politics might be a walking red flag, but that could just be me. I'm not trying to paint all left-leaning or right-leaning men with a broad brush, but to speak to my personal experiences.

Even when I was a left-leaning feminist in high school, I was mostly attracted to right-leaning guys. This could have to do with me growing up in a mostly right-leaning suburban town, but things didn't change when I went to college. Despite having a more ideologically diverse dating pool, I still found myself attracted to guys who were right-leaning, athletic, and unapologetically masculine.

While I saw a difference in right-leaning men and left-leaning men in my college social life (for example, guys in fraternities and athletics were more likely to be right-leaning), it was starker in my academic life. I was in a male-dominated major where the vast majority of my classmates were men, and the more I questioned what I believed, the more I noticed a big difference between my left-leaning male classmates and my right-leaning male classmates.

I remember discussing The Communist Manifesto in class, and I was extremely critical of both the document and Marx's ideology. Instead of engaging in an intellectual discussion about it, some of my left-leaning male classmates told me that I didn't understand the document. It didn't cross their minds that I simply had a different interpretation. This felt odd to me because it wasn't the kind of intellectual debate that I was used to. But their dismissive attitude continued when I became critical of ideologies like socialism and politicians like Bernie Sanders. 

This was different from the way my right-leaning male classmates treated me – they were usually open to having a discussion when we disagreed, while my left-leaning classmates were patronizing. This isn't to say that all left-leaning men are arrogant or that all right-leaning men are supportive, but this is what I experienced throughout my college career. As someone who wants a partner who values my intelligence, this turned me off from a lot of left-leaning men.

When it came to men outside my major, I realized most of my guy friends were not only right-leaning but were gentlemen who respected me and my intelligence. I couldn't be friends with someone who didn't respect me, and it helped me realize that I had more in common with right-leaning men than left-leaning men.

My Experience Dating Left vs. Dating Right

While I've always been more attracted to right-leaning men, I've still gone on dates and through the talking phase (a trap I fell into all too often in my early 20s) with left-leaning men. In my experience, right-leaning men are much more gentlemanly than left-leaning men. They're more likely to hold the door for you and offer to pay on the first date, and less likely to ask for nudes the second you match on a dating app.

To be fair, I've had good experiences with men from both sides of the political spectrum, as well as bad experiences with both. The main thing I've noticed though is that right-leaning men are more likely to have similar values (regarding things like family and religion) and interests to me, and are also more likely to have the athletic and masculine looks that I've always been attracted to. 

Why Many Women Prefer Right-Leaning Men

I used to think I was alone in thinking this way, but that's far from the truth. In 2023, a self-identified “liberal woman” went viral on TikTok for speaking about the correlation she's witnessed between masculine men and conservative men. TikToker @ms_petch says, “As a liberal woman, it is really hard to find a man who's willing to play the more traditional masculine role in the relationship in today's day and age who is not a conservative."

After describing a traditional and masculine man as a guy who takes the lead, holds the door open, and offers to pay for dates, she continues, “Obviously as a liberal woman, I do want to be respected for my independence and I do want to have my own autonomy in the relationship and not be conformed to the traditional female homemaker, childbearing role. And most of the men that I dated who do have that more natural provider masculinity about them are normally conservative.”

After the original TikTok went viral, she made another one in an attempt to debunk the conservative men in her comments section. She said, “I want to be seen, heard, and respected for my ideas, thoughts, and feelings instead of blindly submitting to my husband and being so confined to a child-bearing homemaker role. I have so much more to offer than that and I think I would be doing myself a disservice to solely confine me to the home.”

This video stuck out to me for several reasons, the main one being how she described not respecting a woman's intelligence or independence as a conservative or right-leaning trait. She made it clear in her previous video that conservative men respected her enough to be a gentleman on dates but then made it sound like they weren't gentlemen at all. I can only speak from my personal experience that right-leaning men are more likely to be gentlemen, and being a gentleman includes respecting a woman in all aspects – from holding the door open for her to respecting her intelligence and independence. Are there right-leaning men who don't do this? Are there left-leaning men who are gentlemen? Of course. Her mistake was describing them as gentlemen before back peddling.

Aside from the aspect of right-leaning men being more likely to be perceived as gentlemen, they're also more likely to be perceived as muscular and masculine. According to a 2023 study, muscular men are more likely to be seen as conservative. In the study, participants were shown photos of various men and were asked to guess their political, social, and economic beliefs. The results showed that physically fit men were perceived to be more conservative than their peers.

While this doesn't apply to all men, it does speak volumes about women being attracted to more conservative men over their liberal peers. We all know plenty of women are attracted to athletic men because they're perceived to be (and often are) stronger than their peers, and the correlation between masculinity and athleticism also helps. Athleticism, strength, gentlemanly behavior – these traits all point to self-control, discipline, and personal responsibility, which are traditionally thought to be more conservative traits. So is it really all that surprising that every man I’m attracted to turns out to be right-leaning?

Closing Thoughts

In a culture as politically divided as ours, it's difficult for some of us to separate politics and dating. As women trend more to the left, the fact that plenty of liberal women are still attracted to conservative or right-leaning men implies that we perceive them as having valuable traits. I can attest to this through my own experiences but still believe that mutual values are the key to success in a healthy relationship.

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