What Rich People vs Poor People Talk About During Dinner

There are a lot of differences between rich people and poor people: where they live, how they were raised, what they do, what they eat, and even what they talk about. Of course, there’s always nuance – some people are born rich, and some people work their way up from nothing. Just as every poor person’s experience is not the same, neither is every rich person’s. 

However, there are some trends and commonalities around how rich people behave versus how poor people behave that, while not universal, point to certain trends and patterns. For a variety of reasons (and often due to necessity), poor people often focus more on the here and now, whereas rich people focus more on the future. 

Recently a popular TikToker with over 219,000 followers, Courtney Johnson, made a video exploring this topic by comparing what rich people talk about at dinner versus what poor people talk about at dinner. In her observation (which she stressed is just patterns she’s noticed and not a statement of fact), poor people tend to talk about more topical, concrete subjects, whereas rich people often have more wide-ranging, abstract conversations. 

Poor People Dinner Conversations

In her video on TikTok (which has racked up more than 6 million views and nearly 10,000 comments), Johnson explained that, in her observation, poor people tend to talk about the following topics at dinner:

• Netflix

• Sports

• Celebrity Drama

• The News / Politics

Johnson explains, “My broke friends always talk about Netflix, Hulu, like The Bachelor. They talk about whatever pop culture thing is going on right now. Also, broke people just tend to talk about sports a lot… Again, I don’t think wealthy people don’t watch sports. It’s just patterns that I see with my broke friends. Celebrity drama is a topic that I find very fun, but I never see wealthy people talking about celebrity drama unless they’re involved somehow or they know the person personally.” 

She continues, “Lastly, my broke friends always talk about the news and politics. Namely getting upset about it, getting really triggered, getting really angry. I find that in wealthier circles, if people are angry about a political thing, they’re more talking about solutions to it rather than just getting mad about it.”

What Johnson’s getting at with these observations is that “broke people” tend to discuss things happening to them and around them, rather than discussing things they’re actually doing or engaging in themselves. They focus on problems rather than solutions. 

Rich People Dinner Conversations

As for rich people, Johnson explains she’s found their dinner table conversations typically revolve around the following topics:

• Goals

• Self Development

• Spirituality

• Personal Education 

“Everyone is asking each other their goal,” Johnson says. “They’re asking each other what they’re working on, how their business is going. Self-development/self-improvement, like their latest coach or latest self-development modality. Or a book that they’ve read, or a course that they’ve just taken.”

Johnson continues, “Next is spirituality. I find when I’m around wealthier people, especially self-made wealthier people – especially in the Austin tech scene – everyone is talking about spirituality.” Instead of focusing on the trials and tribulations of other people, which is what Johnson has noticed poor people talk about during dinner, rich people go deeper. 

“Everyone’s asking big questions about the universe and going a lot deeper a lot faster,” she says. “Lastly is personal education. It kind of goes along with self-development, but also everyone is talking about people they’re working with and then referring them to other people in these circles.” 

Unlike her broke friends, Johnson observes that her wealthier friends tend to talk about topics that are bigger than themselves and what they have control over. They’re focused on bettering their own circumstances rather than discussing the trials and tribulations of other people. 

Is This an Accurate Observation?

As you can imagine, by painting with such a broad brush about polarized groups of people, Johnson received some heated comments about her observations. A lot of people just called her “insane” and “nuts,” while others had a different perspective.

“The ‘rich’ people talk about themselves,” one said. “The ‘poor’ ones talk about the world. That’s the difference.”

Another user commented that this “Sounds like friends chatting vs. networking conversations.”

Yet another offered their own observation: “As someone who works at a restaurant where we serve very wealthy people, all they do is talk about people they know and about Ozempic.”

But I think this comment gets closest to nailing what’s really going on here: “Such a classist perspective! This is on being intelligent not wealthy per se. I’ve seen rich people who are only talking about clothes and luxuries.”

At its core, I don’t think this discussion is really about class – it’s about the difference between high-agency people and low-agency people. Granted, there’s likely some correlation across the rich vs. poor spectrum, but that’s because highly intelligent, motivated people are more likely to be rich, whereas lazy, unintelligent people are more likely to be poor. 

High-Agency People vs. Low-Agency People

High-agency people are the change-makers in our world. They’re successful – the kinds of people who take control of their lives and responsibility for their actions. High-agency people are the ones who are starting businesses, creating new inventions, pushing boundaries, setting big goals, and accomplishing what was previously believed to be impossible. High-agency people don’t just talk – they do. 

Low-agency people are the opposite. They’re typically lazy, they don’t set their sights high, and they don’t take control of their situations. A low-agency person is likely never going to start their own business or take a risk or set big goals or put in any kind of extra effort. They do the bare minimum necessary to get by.

Johnson’s observations reminded me of a quote I heard a while back that goes something like this: “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds discuss people.” I think there’s a lot of truth about that statement, and this is the key difference between rich and poor dinner conversations that Johnson is noticing (whether or not she realizes it).

Sure, it can be fun to gossip about celebrities sometimes – I have no doubt that even high-agency people enjoy a bit of gossip from time to time. However, if you want to better your life and achieve big goals, then you should spend less time focusing on (and talking about) other people and more time focusing on things you can control. 

If you want to start making positive, impactful changes in your life, start with the conversations you're having with family and friends around the dinner table. Gossiping about the current state of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck’s marriage isn’t going to change the world for the better, but talking with your friends about your newest goal or an idea you had for a business or something new you learned just might. 

Closing Thoughts

So does that mean you can never gossip again if you want to be a successful, rich, high-agency person? Of course not! We’re human beings, and gossiping about one another is one of the ways we socialize. Plus, we all need to vent about things we can’t control sometimes for our own sanity – it’s how we blow off steam and make sense of the world around us. But if you do want to become more goal-oriented and successful in your life, start by trying to shift your mindset from a low-agency mindset where things keep happening to you to a high-agency mindset where you are in control of your own destiny.

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