Want to Attract the Right Man? Here Are 10 Traits Men Actually Value

The truth is, despite the bleak existence of today’s hookup culture, masculine, loyal, handsome, and successful men remain out there, actively searching for love as we speak. But we can’t aim to attract a quality man with certain profile tags if we’re not trying to reach the highest potential in ourselves. That wouldn’t be very fair, now, would it?

Men also have boxes they want to check as they’re searching for their future wife. Is their checklist as infinite as a pamphlet of birth control side effects like ours is? Not exactly. To make things a little more straightforward for our single Evie girls, we went out and asked real men from different backgrounds and states what they desire in a woman. Here are the 10 things you’ll find on a man’s list. 

Physical Attraction

After tossing up physical attraction and values, one gent hit the nail on the head: “I put physical attraction as #1 because, at the end of the day, single men aren’t going to strike up a convo with a woman if they don’t find her attractive. That’s the truth. Men are very visually stimulated. We need to see the beauty first on the outside and hope it’s on the inside too. And if it’s not, the search continues.” Of course, values and character are essential for a long-lasting connection, but just as iconic suitor Mr. Darcy was attracted to Elizabeth’s “fine eyes,” physical attraction is the first step to discovering a woman’s mysteries.

Femininity

As a subcategory to physical attraction, 64% of the participants said femininity (in attire and manner) was in their top 5 desirable qualities in a woman. 75% affirmed that they thought women look prettier in dresses. Men aren’t attracted to frumpy girls or females who consistently dress like gym bros. Masculine men want women who look womanly.

Women are naturally beautiful creatures, but little details like discovering your color season and wearing those shades, choosing outfits that flatter your specific silhouette, adding dainty accessories, maintaining your hair, and using natural makeup to enhance your features can do wonders. Plenty of iconic Hollywood films spotlight a girl who experiences a makeover that draws noticeable attention: think of Mia Thermopolis in Princess Diaries, Laney Boggs in She’s All That, Toula Portokalos in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady. We don’t need to change who we are entirely, but ensuring that we’re making the most of our feminine appearance, in style and manner, goes a long way. 

Regarding makeup specifically, 55% of the voters said they liked when a woman uses makeup, while a whopping 30% said they couldn’t tell the difference between a natural face and one that had a little help. However, commenters largely echoed the sentiment that going overboard with makeup or donning excessively long nails is a definite turnoff. 

Healthy & Fit

Health and fitness finished with 90% affirmative as a priority subcategory for physical attraction. According to one contributor: “Everyone wants a fit and healthy partner – it is literally biological.” Men are instinctively drawn to beautiful, healthy-looking women because they’re designed to pursue a mate who is able to give them healthy babies. The National Library of Medicine confirms this with a study that found attractive women had higher rates of fertility and higher reproductive success than those less attractive.

Fitness is also significant to many as a feature of self-discipline. However, a man’s standard for a woman’s health and fitness usually reflects on himself. If you’re looking for a man who is fit and muscular, who is disciplined and takes care of himself, then the easiest way to be in the same league is to do as he would. Become what you want to attract.

Virtuous

In an encouraging twist, this one almost finished first. Men primarily value beauty and attraction to start the process and facilitate bonding, but at the end of the day, looks don’t cover all the bases. The top virtues participants voted on were kindness (and nurturing), fidelity, loyalty, honesty, trustworthiness, respect, integrity, and modesty (in behavior and attire). 

While women need to feel loved, it’s more important to men that they feel respected. Most men also emphasize loyalty, fidelity, and trust as crucial qualities for a relationship’s success. Conservative men especially often specify a woman who conducts herself tastefully with self-respect and is not dominating or demanding.

Shared Values

Although close to second, sharing similar values – specifically moral, religious, and political – finished third. This makes sense because what a person believes and values and how they practice their beliefs are integral factors to character, mindset, and lifestyle, including long-term commitment. Imagine one spouse going to church and the other not, or each voting differently at the election polls and strongly disagreeing on candidate policies. 

Regarding politics, 60% said they’d like a woman somewhat politically invested, while the other 40% said it doesn’t really matter to them. One man commented: “I’d actually prefer the woman to be slightly less invested yet allow and encourage the husband to be the more political one as the protector and provider, but she should still be aware.”

Family-Oriented

All of the men in this poll affirmed that they desire a woman who wants children, to some degree. Men naturally desire to procreate and see their legacy live on. It’s understandably a deal-breaker for most if a woman does not share in that desire. 

Furthermore, being family-oriented extends beyond procreating. When a woman respects, values, and prioritizes her family – whether that’s calling her grandmother once a week, speaking highly of her father, or offering a helping hand to her siblings – it demonstrates an interest in more than herself and shows how much she values those that raised her.

Emotional Maturity & Stability

Maturity is separate from intelligence. A woman might be smart in some ways but still notably immature. Men who want a serious relationship don’t want a girl who throws temper tantrums, airs her dirty laundry out on TikTok, or goes to either end of emotional extremes under stress. Especially regarding marriage and family life, sound mental health, emotional maturity, and stability are important qualities in a partner as well as a mother.

Intelligent

For women wanting a family man, conservative men often seek a wife who’s not just intelligent and stimulating but also practical, so she makes sound judgments that benefit the family and marriage. Men also stated that they want “smart genes” to pass on to their children.

Intelligence doesn’t just mean a degree, though. In fact, 90% of the participants said they didn’t prioritize a college degree, 44% voted “respect either way,” and 56% confirmed they would like her to be “pursuing some interest.” Being intelligent can mean staying informed in regard to politics, furthering certain studies on her own, or just generally staying curious and eager to learn about the world around her. 

Good Personality

Many couples regard ideal relationships as dating (and marrying) your best friend. For this reason, personality-temperament compatibility is key. Top personality qualities voted on finished as follows: affectionate, empathetic, respectful, supportive (team player), intentional, and fun.

Good Communicator

Clear, respectful communication is key to a healthy and long-lasting relationship. As much as we might wish them to be, men are not mind-readers. They’re also less emotional than women, with a single-track focus. Men have expressed that they love it when a woman listens, voices her thoughts, is understanding, and is open to discussing concerns in a respectful way. This also includes affirmation and reciprocity. One participant noted that he appreciates a woman who verbally “acknowledges the things her man does for her.”

Sense of Humor

A good sense of humor is helpful for relationships, and guys place a lot of importance on a woman who deems them funny. All participants valued humor as an important trait: 25% specified that they’d like a girl who’s funny; another 25% specified they’d want a girl who laughs at his jokes.

Domestic

90% of the men said they want a wife who wishes to stay home with her children over working out of the home. It was important to them that she be able to run a household successfully, even if she doesn’t fully adapt to a “tradwife” lifestyle. 

Grab your apron, ladies! 89% of our voters further confirmed that they’d like a woman who cooks. After all, it’s said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!

Closing Thoughts

Checking all of the above boxes and still having a hard time finding Mr. Right? Don’t forget to intentionally place yourself in environments where masculine, virtuous men would be. Let your best married friends set you up, or drop your hanky at the next wedding you attend. Tickets to the gun show, anyone?