The Feminine Art Of Erotic Massage: A Step By Step Guide For Wives

In one notable episode of the hit show Shogun, Lady Mariko arranges for John Blackthorne, the British protagonist, to spend a night with a courtesan named Lady Kiku at Madame Gin's Tea House. This arrangement is made to keep him away from Mariko, with whom he has a complicated romantic tension. I was mesmerized by the mystique and allure of Lady Kiku. The episode didn't display explicit sexual content, but the before and after implied a profound experience. 

People often complain about vanilla sex in marriage, and I’ll be damned if I ever let my marriage become boring. I reject the idea that you have to keep “pushing the boundaries” or get into things like BDSM to keep things exciting. I’m confident I’ve become quite talented at keeping my husband happy during the three years we’ve been married, thank you very much! I work hard to keep my body snatched. But am I a genius with technique? Not yet. I am dedicated, though. So, I set out to do what I’m sure my husband would call critical research.

My research took me through the fascinating history of Japanese courtesans and their mastery of sensual touch. These courtesans, or "oiran," weren't seedy prostitutes in the underbelly of town. They were elevated, artistic, and highly respected for their sensual mastery. Oiran were not only beautiful but also highly trained in the arts of pleasure and intimacy. They used slow, deliberate touches to build anticipation. Their expertise in the erotic arts was not just about physical pleasure but about engaging all the senses – including the mind – to create a deeply immersive and intimate experience. I also stumbled upon more modern techniques, like the art of Japanese Nuru massage. This highly erotic body-to-body massage uses a very slippery seaweed-based oil, adding a uniquely messy sensual dimension. 

With this newfound knowledge, I decided to blend these various techniques and bring them into our bedroom, crafting a sexual experience for my husband that would leave him delirious. Having performed several erotic massages at this point that have all led to insanely hot sex, I’d be doing wives everywhere a disservice if I didn’t share my best tips. It starts with the awareness that we are beautiful, sexual creatures by design, capable of giving and receiving immense pleasure. This detailed, step-by-step guide will help you harness that sexual energy, take control, and give your husband what the heathens would call a religious experience. Pinky promise!

*18+ Disclaimer: This article contains explicit adult content and is intended for educational purposes for married women only. Reader discretion is advised.

Prepping Your Body

The most important body prep you can do is to get a full Brazilian sugar wax. Sugar wax is a natural hair removal method that uses a paste made from sugar, water, and citric acid. It’s less painful than traditional waxing, safer, and creates a smoother, silkier result. Treat yourself to a fresh mani/pedi, as you’re going to want your hands and feet to be soft and pretty. Shower long enough before you plan on starting to ensure your hair is dry and you have time to do a “natural makeup” look. Avoid any lipstick or lipgloss. Instead, exfoliate your lips with some brown sugar, then apply a lip balm. In the shower, use a mild PH-balanced wash for your vagina. Avoid wearing perfume, as the chemicals will taste off-putting, and he’s going to want to taste you! 

The most important body prep you can do is to get a full Brazilian sugar wax.

Setting the Mood

Start by setting the vibe. Dim the lights and light some scented candles. Ensure there’s enough ambient glow, ideally candlelight, to illuminate your body. Trust me, he’s going to want to see this performance. Choose a scent that both of you love – lavender, vanilla, and sandalwood are all great options. Play some soft and sensual instrumental music in the background to create a relaxing atmosphere. Lay a soft, plush towel or blanket on the bed and have some massage oil ready. Coconut oil is a fantastic choice because it’s natural, edible, smells great, and feels amazing on the skin. Gradually undress to build anticipation. Let your robe slip off one shoulder at a time, giving him tantalizing glimpses of what’s to come. 

Begin the Massage with Your Hands

Begin by having him lie face down on the bed. Straddle his lower back and pour a small amount of oil into your hands, rubbing them together to warm it up. Start with long, slow strokes along his back, applying gentle pressure. Let your hands glide smoothly over his skin, using your body weight to deepen the massage. As you work your way up to his shoulders, knead out any tension and lean down to whisper in his ear how good he feels and how much you love touching him.

As you move down his back, focus on his lower back and bum. Use your hands to knead and squeeze gently, paying attention to his reactions. This area is often neglected but can be incredibly pleasurable. Reach under him and gently pull his penis out and let it rest downward between his thighs. This will allow room for his erection to grow.

Move down to his thighs and legs, using long, fluid strokes. As you move your hands along his inner thighs, occasionally brush your fingers against his penis. The teasing touch will heighten his arousal and make him crave more. 

When you feel he’s ready and fully erect, gently turn him over, letting your robe fall completely to the floor, revealing your naked body. Take more oil in your hands and apply it to your boobs, letting it drip down your torso.

A scalp massage can be wonderfully relaxing, and we want a little calm before the storm.

Plant your hands on his chest while you glide your body higher up on his torso. You’re going to calm him down and massage his head (not that one). A scalp massage can be wonderfully relaxing, and we want a little calm before the storm. Start by running your fingers slowly through his hair, letting your nails lightly graze his scalp. Gently pull sections of his hair to release tension, then use the pads of your fingers to apply circular motions, beginning at his temples and moving towards the back of his head. Focus on the base of the skull and the nape of the neck, where stress often accumulates. Alternate between light and firm pressure, and use your thumbs to make small, firm circles around his ears and down the sides of his neck. 

Continue with a Full-Body Sensual Massage

Now, use your entire body to give him a full-body sensual massage. Slowly slide your oiled body against his, using your breasts, stomach, and thighs to create a tantalizing sensation. Take your time exploring every inch of his body with yours. The key to body-to-body massage is to focus on using softer, larger body parts like your breasts, stomach, and thighs against his firmer, more defined areas such as his chest, back, and legs. This ensures a more pleasurable and less abrasive experience.

1. Using Your Breasts: Glide your breasts up and down his body. Let your nipples lightly brush over his skin, especially his chest and groin area, creating an electrifying sensation.

2. Butt Cheeks: Straddle him backward, using your butt cheeks to massage his legs and thighs. Press your bum against his erection and move slowly, letting the smooth, oiled skin create a slippery, tantalizing friction.

3. Vagina Tease: While straddling him, move backward, letting your vagina lightly brush over his face. This teasing will drive him wild with anticipation. When you lean forward, press your boobs against his penis, letting the warmth and softness heighten his arousal.

Oral Tease 

Put your lips to his ear, and with a breathy, soft voice, tell him you want to taste him, but he’s not allowed to climax. “This is gonna be intense. Brace yourself.”

Move down to his stomach and inner thighs, letting your boobs brush lightly against him. The combination of your hands and your body will drive him wild. Look him in the eyes as you move down his body, and when you reach his groin, open your mouth and extend your tongue, gently running it along the length of his penis from the base to the tip. When you reach the tip, swirl your tongue around the head and then very gently suck it with your lips pursed (think duck lips). Hold his gaze while you ever so lightly taste him. Then, in one quick, fluid motion, lick his shaft again from the base and take him deep into your mouth as far as you can comfortably go. Be mindful of your teeth and use your tongue as a barrier.

Pro tip: Men are visual! Don’t lay on him fully or your breasts will be hidden. Being up a bit on your elbows allows your breasts to stay in view just below his crotch, which will make for a lovely visual as you give him head.

The secret to a great blowjob is enthusiasm.

Use a combination of your tongue, lips, and hands to pleasure him, alternating between gentle licks and slow, deep suction while gently massaging his balls. Make eye contact as you do this, showing him that you’re in control. Letting out breathy and soft yet desperate moans will let him know you’re enjoying every moment. Remember, the secret to a great blowjob is enthusiasm. This oral attention is meant to make him rock hard and wet, but be sure not to make him climax. This is just the warm-up for what's to come. Before moving on, spit on his penis directly from above for extra lubrication while stroking him with your hand. You won’t need it, but he’ll find it insanely hot.

Transitioning to Sex

After you've built up anticipation with your hands, body, and mouth, it’s time to ride him with all the passion you can muster. But first, one last tease! Slowly straddle him and guide his penis with your hand, letting the tip brush against your labia. Maintain eye contact and say something naughty – short, sweet, and vulgar. As you do this, slowly move up and down, letting just the tip penetrate your vagina. If you can move your hips in a circular motion while maintaining this shallow depth, even better. This technique will increase the sensation for both of you and lead to a more powerful orgasm later. When you’ve had enough, take him fully inside you with a gasp and start riding, cowgirl.

The Best Sex Position Sequence

I’m going to suggest a sequence of sex positions that I love for ending an erotic massage, starting with you in control, moving toward a brief relinquishing of control, before taking it back again and sending him to climax.

Cowgirl (You in Control)

Start in the cowgirl position, where you straddle him and have control over the depth and speed of penetration. This position allows you to set the pace and build anticipation. Place his hands on your waist, then lock your arms with your hands gripping his chest, which will naturally frame your bouncing breasts. You can also guide his hands to your breasts and run your hands through your hair while he plays with them.

Lotus Position (Intimate Connection)

After briefly riding cowgirl, pull him up and sit on his lap facing him, with your legs wrapped around his waist and your hands on his shoulders or arms around his neck. This position allows for deep penetration and intense intimacy as you control the rhythm and pace. The close contact also makes it easy to kiss passionately.

Reverse Cowgirl (Switch It Up)

From the lotus position, push him gently onto his back and transition into reverse cowgirl. In this position, you face away from him, allowing for deep penetration and giving him a glorious view of your backside as he watches himself appear and disappear into your twerking cheeks. This adds a visual element of excitement for him while you maintain control over the depth and rhythm. Arch your back for extra sexiness. You can grip his legs for support.

Variation on Doggy Style (Relinquishing of Control)

This is where you invite him to take control. Be explicit and tell him, “Baby, I want you to take me from behind.” With some practice, you can both learn to transition from reverse cowgirl to doggy style without him pulling out. It involves you leaning forward and him sitting up, then pushing you forward onto the bed. When you’re in position, your breasts should be pressed against the bed, your arms stretched out above your head, and your ass high in the air, ready to receive. Most people will have the woman’s legs together in this position, but that’s a common mistake. He should be kneeling between your legs, which will cause you to spread a bit wide. Once he’s in this position, lock him in place with your legs by placing the tops of your ankles and feet on his calves. This position allows him to take control and provides incredibly deep penetration while stimulating different erogenous zones.

Missionary (Him in Control)

Before he gets carried away, and trust me, it will happen quickly, roll over onto your back and pull him into missionary. This classic position is wonderfully intimate and allows for gazing into each other's eyes. It allows for deep thrusts and maximum stimulation of the G-spot. When he’s at his deepest, pull him to you tight and hold him there and continue to move. 

This classic position is wonderfully intimate and allows for gazing into each other's eyes.

The pressure of his pelvic bone above his shaft pressed against the top of your vagina will feel electric. It combines the sensation of dry humping with intercourse simultaneously. Whisper sweet nothings to him if you feel so inspired. This is the position where showing your vulnerability will only intensify his feelings. Now it’s time to send you both over the edge into orgasmic bliss. Use all your strength to pull him down to the side and push yourself over on top of him, back to cowgirl.

Finishing Strong

The best position to finish in, scientifically speaking, is one where you have control and can maximize the stimulation for both of you. Cowgirl or reverse cowgirl with you on top are perfect for this, as they allow you to control the speed, depth, and angle of penetration, leading to a mind-blowing climax for both of you. I’d suggest choosing the position based on your husband’s preference for your boobs or butt.

The Breast-Lover's Finish

If he loves your boobs, go for the breast-lover’s finish. Finish with you on top in the traditional cowgirl position. Let him watch your boobs bounce as you ride him to climax. 

The Forceful Reverse Cowgirl Finish

If he loves your butt, go for the forceful reverse cowgirl finish. After deep missionary, forcefully roll him over so you're on top, straddling him and taking control of the rhythm and depth. Ride him a bit before transitioning to reverse cowgirl. Arch your back, look over your shoulder, and pound him as he reaches climax.

The best sex is where “she comes first.”

If your husband loves your assets equally, go with the one that showcases what you’re most proud of! Ideally, you’ve had multiple orgasms at this point, and now it’s his turn to finish. Remember, the best sex is where “she comes first.” Once he’s finished, his energy will be drained, and he’ll quickly soften. The fastest way to make him climax, if he hasn’t already, is to moan in between telling him to cum for you.

My favorite post-sex cooldown is to lay on top of him face-to-face while he’s still inside you. Scissor your legs for deep penetration, and have him grip your booty in his hands. Give him a deep French kiss as you slow the pace down, continuing to move in and out until he’s soft.

Closing Thoughts

An erotic massage is a fantastic way to take control and lead your husband into a night of wild passion. The first time I did this, I had three mind-blowing orgasms, and he came so hard I thought he’d pass out. My promise to you is that it will be an unforgettable experience you’ll both be thinking about for days. And remember, practice makes perfect.

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