The Demonization Of Silliness Online Is A Direct Attack On Femininity

In today’s quick-bite attention economy, trends come and go faster than we can often keep up with. But no matter the lifecycle of the trend, one thing seems to remain constant: If a trend is inherently feminine, girly, ditsy, or playful, people (yes, both men and women!) seem to think it’s fair game to clown on incessantly.

Whether it’s sorority women posting recruitment videos featuring precisely choreographed group dance routines or just a couple of gals at home joining in on a viral dance meme, the internet seems to have this collective gut reaction to shame and demonize girly frivolity. I’m here to tell you that these people are misled. 

Sure, it’s in poor taste to oversexualize your body online, and there are plenty of shameless women who generate income off their boobs, bums, and what have you. But it’s unfair to loop innocent women in with prostitutes. If you can’t let a woman lean into her silliness and, therefore, her femininity, do you really like women all that much in the first place?

Happy “Bama Rush” Season!

Sorority dances have gone viral recently as the easiest targets of silliness demonization. But, as fellow Evie writer Alina Clough so eloquently put it on X, “Sorority girls dancing is objectively the most normal timeline, and I’m tired of pretending it’s a symptom of societal decline.”

What’s the goal of recruitment? SEC sorority girl at Ole Miss (an easy competitor for Alabama’s viral “Bama Rush” content) explained in an article for Buzzfeed just how grueling rush can be…and for good reason. Sisterhood is a lifelong commitment. Some schools take Greek Life much more seriously than others, but no matter where you’re going to college, it’s meant to be much more difficult than casually joining a club. You need recommendation letters in many cases, you have to go through multiple interviews, and you have to be sussed out to see if you vibe well with the rest of the group.

Sororities boast many benefits for their sisters. From lifelong friendships to resume boosters to philanthropic opportunities to GPA requirements to community leadership and more, Greek Life isn’t all about partying…but it sure sweetens the deal. Greek Life is all about work-hard-then-play-hard, so while you might not appreciate the spectacle of rush or the glitzy parties, it appeals to a different subset of humanity, and you’ll just have to come to terms with that.

It’s performative, but it’s also competitive. Each sorority likely wants to be seen as the most alluring campus chapter to hopeful recruits because, honestly, why would they strive to be mediocre? You’re not only selling the tangible benefits of sisterhood but also the status of being a sister in one specific sorority. 

The dancing videos are only one element of this. Women want other women to be their friends. Sorority dance videos aren’t choreographed for the male gaze – they’re done so for the female gaze. It’s the same reason why many women wear makeup. They don’t do it to impress men but to outcompete other women. Sure, women know that men will appreciate beautification, but really, ask any gal if her winged liner is meant to attract a mate, and she may laugh in your face.

And what’s the flip side of the situation? Would men realistically want women to be slovenly, give up on maintaining their appearance, and be less full of joie de vivre? Unless they’re into other men, I don’t think so.

Sorority sisterhood, as it's seen on TikTok and elsewhere, may seem frivolous to the outside viewer, but it’s only one symptom of a deep-seated desire among women to relish their femininity and not be judged harshly for it. Because many “feminine” things aren’t critical to survival, it’s pretty easy for logic-minded, pragmatic people to wave all those “extras” off as shallow indulgences.

Why should a woman experiment with makeup styles if she can survive without it? Why should a woman spritz herself with perfume if it doesn’t do much beyond smelling good? People who consider themselves pragmatic tend to have a negative view of anything they perceive as excess. It’s silly to them, but it’s not silly to us.

Is Femininity “Low Art”?

Here’s another example that might help massage the concept into your brain. Women, broadly speaking, have a huge soft spot for reality television. But “low-brow” shows – Love Island, Vanderpump Rules, KUWTK, etc. – don’t appeal to people who consider themselves “cultured,” or, in this case, masculine. Media designed for male target audiences is very often consumed by women and men alike, but many men turn their noses up at media deemed too girly.

Now, this isn’t me advocating for men to start watching reality TV, but if they’re all about objectivity, they should get out of their heads and realize that everyone has different interests. And if you want women to be women and not men, you should let us lean into content that features a feminine aura.

In many cases, women’s media features excellent examples of relationship dynamics and problem-solving, such as Gilmore Girls. And even if they aren’t that deep, like Gossip Girl or my personal guilty pleasure, The Vampire Diaries, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be entertained. As long as you’re not harming anyone (including yourself), there’s no wrong way to escape reality!

Women aren’t stupid. I know there are some who are genuinely shallow among us, but I’d wager that if you asked a woman if she finds reality TV or “trashy” TV to be “high-brow” content, she’d probably laugh and admit it’s silly. We like camp, for one, but we also love picking apart drama. We can derive massive pleasure from making fun of terrible shows. 

I’d never argue that Riverdale is a “good” show compared to the more educated, “cultured” content I consume, but if I spent all my time watching stoic, serious content, I’d be a gloomy mess. 

As Susan Sontag once explained, people who have “camp sensibility” enjoy extravagant and exaggerated cultural objects because of their “failed seriousness.” Camp, as Sontag puts it, is a “tender feeling,” and in my opinion, fluffy, mindless media catered to the female brain is like chicken soup for the soul.

Even the most stubborn women can admit that many “feminine” things aren’t logical, but that doesn’t mean that they’re not valuable. Every year around this time, women around the world eagerly grab their first Pumpkin Spice Latte of the season, but couldn’t they just as easily sip on their standard espresso? Heaven forbid women enjoy the simple pleasures in life. 

I’m not even on the PSL train, but in my own life there are a lot of luxuries that I know aren’t necessary to my survival, but they boost my overall mental health in some meaningful form.

I tried pretty hard to dislike fluffy, girly things in my teenage dirtbag phase, but now that I’ve matured into adulthood (I know, it seems contradictory), I understand their value. Even things as simple as a pretty, pink option for headphones or a Stanley thermos, a lotion fragranced better than another, or “basic bitch” home good products that make an otherwise impersonal living space feel more like home.

Here’s a kicker: Many of us who have our “basic” indulgences are very deep people. People are multi-dimensional, not just static versions of themselves who have one easily tracked set of interests. I can recognize the greatness of The Lord of the Rings film trilogy and admire Tolkien’s masterful lore-building, but I also personally love “so bad it’s good” movies.

Smart cookies can appreciate low-brow content without it being a reflection of their own intelligence. Indulging in something entertaining and lighthearted is playful, and playfulness is inherently feminine. Sometimes, we owe it to ourselves to put the harsh realities of modern life on the back burner and escape from a humorless, crisis-oriented 24/7 news cycle. 

Closing Thoughts

Shaming women for trying silly trends or perceived absurd entertainment isn’t fair because we'd be somewhat desexed if we weren’t to engage in any of it. Unless you want women to be masculine, don’t hate on feminine attributes. 

It’s perfectly reasonable to call out degeneracy as it’s antithetical to a woman’s best interests, but there’s a difference between sinfulness and innocent satisfaction.