The Definitive Guide To Being An It Girl In NYC
By someone who tried it once, cried at Café Kitsuné, and hasn’t recovered since.
She doesn’t have a job. She has a presence. She’s not “in the scene.” She is the scene. She floats down West 11th in a floor-length coat, white tights, and kitten heels, sipping a green juice she didn’t pay for. Someone whispers, “Who is that?”
No one knows. Everyone cares.
She’s the NYC It Girl, and no, she’s not born, she’s built. You want to become her? Open up the notepad on your phone and let's get to it.
Step 1: Dress Like You Haunt Abandoned Townhouses in the West Village
Being an It Girl in 2025 means looking like a beauty so rare you haunt the men who got a glimpse of you walking down 5th avenue in their dreams.
Think:
• Vintage slip dress + oversized leather jacket
• Sheer tights, ballet flats, and a big coat that swallows you whole
• Something from The Row worn like you thrifted it
• Sunglasses at all hours. Preferably Miu Miu or something “borrowed”
Her brands (whispered, not screamed):
• The Row (for when she wants to look rich but unbothered, a la Mary Kate and Ashley style)
• Sandy Liang (for ultra-feminine vibes)
• Khaite (giving 2025 Serena Van Der Woodsen)
• Nour Hammour (the coat everyone DM’d her about)
• Réalisation Par (for the dress she swears she “just threw on”)
• Mirror Palais (for sexy nostalgia and old-school waistlines)
Remember: everything must look accidental and emotionally charged.
Step 2: Eat Like a Beautifully Malnourished Intern at French Vogue
She doesn’t “go out to eat.” She is seen in the vicinity of food. She orders with detachment and eats with intention. Half the time she forgets she’s hungry. The other half she’s consuming a croissant in the back of a cab.
Where to Eat (and Be Observed):
• Café Cluny – Her second home. Get a poached egg, a side of bread, and sit in the back corner with a book you’re not reading.
• Via Carota – Order like you have taste: the endive salad and the cacio e pepe. You’re not here for food. You’re here for mythology.
• Anton’s – For martinis and moody noodles. Arrive alone. Leave a little more interesting.
• L’Artusi (bar seat only) – You’ll say you’re “just popping in.” You’ll stay for three hours and make eye contact with a producer, who immediately offers you a show. You reject him because you have too many offers.
• Lucien – Technically not West Village, but spiritually essential. Only go if you’ve been papped at least once in your life.
Step 3: Get Coffee Like You Just Left Someone’s Loft
No one drinks coffee like an It Girl. It’s not about caffeine, it’s about the moment. You hold the cup like it’s a cigarette. You never get a lid. You pretend not to notice the photographer trying to snap a glimpse of you across the street.
Where to Caffeinate (but never rush):
• Café Kitsuné – For espresso and a croissant you won’t finish. Carry a book. Bonus points for Simone de Beauvoir or something in French. You might even be reading the Bible, but the Douay Rheims version obviously.
• Rosecrans – Very West Village, very floral, very “I write poetry on Sunday mornings.”
• Everyman Espresso – For the girl who used to be indie but now wears The Row.
• Ralph’s Coffee inside Ralph Lauren – For ambiance. And pretending you’re in a Nancy Meyers movie but unhinged.
Step 4: Move Like You’re Escaping a Party and a Male feminist
She doesn’t work out. She transcends. She walks like she’s fleeing a scandal. She stretches like she’s prepping for an editorial. You’ll never catch her on a treadmill. She was a pilates princess before it was cool.
Her fitness routine:
• Nofar Method – West Village adjacent, punishing, elegant. Think: “if Pilates studied abroad.”
• Forma Pilates – Invite-only. DM them if you dare. Bring your own mat, your own trauma.
• Walking. Literally everywhere. In ballet flats. In the wrong weather. While on the phone.
Step 5: Be Seen (But Never Available)
She doesn’t try to be seen. She just is. And when you spot her, it’s always from the back, turning a corner, leaving too soon.
Where She Is (and You Could Be):
• The Nines – For martinis, glossy hair, and the ghost of someone you dated. You don’t have a reservation, but they keep a table open for you just in case.
• Hotel Chelsea lobby – Pretend you’re meeting an editor. Actually just drink wine and write poetry.
• Art openings in Nolita – Only the ones with no invite link and a girl at the door who says “we’re full.”
• Random stoops in the West Village – Take a call. Look melancholic. Be the moment.
• Washington Square Park at 3 a.m. – In fur, with a cigarette, mumbling “I’m fine” through Charlotte tilbury lipliner. The shade is “Iconic nude,” of course but she secretly hides “Pillow talk” in her Loewe puzzle bag.
Step 6: The Aura (aka How to Act Like an It Girl Without Saying a Word)
• Always say “sorry, I’m late” even if no one was waiting.
• Carry a tote bag full of secrets (and lip balm, obviously).
• Post blurry photos at weird hours with captions like “tender” or “left early”.
• Ghost occasionally. Then come back iconic.
• Date someone “in the industry” but don’t define which industry.
• Walk away mid-conversation if the vibes are wrong.
You don’t need money. You need taste and detachment. You don’t need plans. You need a really good coat and an alibi. You don’t need followers. You need mystery.
Be late. Be unreadable. Be dressed like you just ruined someone’s life and are now off to cry at Café Cluny in vintage Galliano.
And remember: being an It Girl is not about being known. It’s about being remembered.