Opinion: Pete Davidson's Face Looks Like An STD, And Unwanted News Of Him Won't Stop Spreading

Kanye and Kim announced their divorce in January 2021, and they've been having some trouble adjusting to the split, especially when it comes to their kids. To add insult to injury, everyone is talking about the new couple Kim and Pete, even more so since she made their relationship Instagram official by posting photos of them on her page. Kanye is having trouble adjusting to his ex-wife's new boyfriend, and one of his biggest objections is that he doesn't want comedian Pete Davidson around his children – and can you blame him?

Pete has dated a string of hot women, from Ariana Grande to Phoebe Dynevor, leaving most people perplexed as to what on earth they see in him. They're all richer than him, so money's not it. They think he's funny? Bad taste in humor, but okay. Is it that he's cocky in the high school douchebag that the popular girls with daddy issues go for kind of way? Or as Ariana Grande hinted at in 2018, is it just because he allegedly has a huge d*ck?

Not the classiest reason to date Pete (who looks like the lovechild of Steve Buscemi and an STD), but we're talking about Kim Kardashian here. Let's not pretend she's the classiest celebrity. Her never-ending thirst traps on Instagram are the unoriginal but natural legacy of sex-tape fame. And sure, maybe I'm being unfair. Maybe Pete Davidson has a great personality.

If that were true, it'd make sense because Pete is not cute, plain and simple. To make matters worse the guy looks like he hasn't showered in several days. He's like that guy in college who drenched himself in Axe body spray daily to mask the heavy scent of B.O. and old bong water. It seems he's constantly smoking cigarettes, which means he probably wreaks of day-old tobacco and tastes like an ashtray. Pasty skin, baggy, soul-sucking eyes, you get the point. And don't get me started on the Hillary Clinton and Justice Ginsberg tattoos that scream, "Look, vapid chick. I'm a male feminist! You should f*ck me!" Although can I just say Kim thinking it's cute that he BRANDED her name on his flesh gives me low-key succubus vibes?

Of course, if Pete had a kickass personality, I'd be willing to overlook much of this (minus the bad breath), but he seems to be an entitled, self-obsessed brat who overestimates his own talent. Saturday Night Live has been on the decline for years now, and Pete is partly responsible for that. Even worse, he has joked before about having sex with a baby. In a standup routine once at the Bell House in Brooklyn, he talked about his friend's teething baby who started sucking on his finger, as babies tend to do. He talked about how "good" it felt and said, “I don’t want to f—k this baby, but he’s asking for it.” Not funny. Just gross.

Kanye Isn't Crazy for Worrying About Pete Being Around His Kids

I can understand why Kanye, being a father of four, would be extremely concerned that his ex-wife is allowing her 13-years-younger boyfriend to hang around their children.

"Yet another reason why SKETE gotta stay away from my children Oh and nobody noticed that he ain’t show up to SNL Because Mr. I can help you with meds had a mental breakdown after we ran him off the internet SKETE you not built for this I already blacked the Super Bowl out on you Apologize to your family for being in your family," Kanye wrote in the caption.

Plus, anyone who jokes about having sex with an infant should be nowhere near children. Kanye may have been onto something when he called Pete a d*ckhead. To make matters worse, Pete taunted Kanye by sending him a text message with a selfie of him in Kim's bed. He knows exactly what he's doing to disrupt Kanye's family, and he's enjoying every single second of it.

This reminds me of the unfounded rumor about Pete sending an intimate photo of himself with Ariana Grande to Mac Miller (Ariana's Ex), and how it may have contributed to Miller's overdose. Ariana broke things off with Pete shortly after Miller's tragic death.

Regardless, I'll end this by saying that gross, slimy people like Pete thrive on all the publicity, even the negative. Like a demon from a Stephen King novel, they feed off it. So I'd live a perfectly happy life if I never had to write about Pete Davidson again. If only women like Kim would stop pulling him into the limelight, the assault on our news feeds could end.