My Husband And I Tried Using AI To Improve Our Sex Life. Here's What Happened.

It all started when I was messing around with Grok's new "animate photos" feature and picked a recent one of myself in a new outfit (I'm doing that thing where I take pictures of myself in outfits so I can see if they're actually flattering or not). That particular picture was not flattering, but I told Grok to make it cute, curious if it would work, and it did. It improved the lighting, smoothed my hair, and made me give the camera a quick smile.

Then I got another idea: "Make me do a sexy little dance." Moments later, there I was doing a little shimmy I would never do in real life. I sent it to my husband, thinking it was hilarious, and he wrote back with the eyes emoji. I told Grok to make me blow a sultry kiss and sent him that, too. He texts back, "Are you trying to distract me? Keep this up, and I'm leaving work early." That's when it occurred to me that maybe AI could actually help spice things up a little.

My husband uses AI more sparingly and in goofier ways in my opinion (like asking it to create riddles that are too hard to solve or arguing with it about politics), but after I told him how I used AI to accidentally seduce him, he started experimenting with it, too, and we found a few surprising tips and tricks.

Here's what happened when we let AI play matchmaker, travel agent, and occasionally wingman:

Make Date Night Decisions Easier

We have this routine every Friday where we ask each other what we want to do, neither of us has an opinion, and we end up ordering food and watching Netflix. Not a bad routine by any means, but definitely a little redundant. So one weekend, I got fed up and dumped our details into ChatGPT: our location and how far we were willing to travel, $200 budget, aesthetic vibes, nothing too loud or crowded.

It suggested a wine bar with live jazz in a neighborhood I didn't even know existed. I sent the info to my husband, he made a reservation, and we got dressed up. There was also a little mini burlesque-type show that we weren't expecting, and the combination of drinking good wine, wearing a sexy black dress, and live music was so fun that I was ready to go back home and give him his own burlesque show later. I still love Netflix and comfy clothes, but it was that unexpected departure from our routine that probably contributed most to our time in the bedroom.

Ask AI for Conversation Topics

Before AI was even a thing, my husband was known for asking deep questions during family gatherings or board games. He'd google conversation topics and ideas, so he took that same approach during one of our date nights and asked ChatGPT for questions for couples who have been together for years.

It suggested a bunch, but the ones we talked the most about were: "How did you know when you were in love with me?" and "How would your life have turned out if you'd never met me?"

His responses were so cute and romantic, I couldn't help but pull him close and kiss him. If you've been with someone forever, you know how sometimes conversations can get a little circular, or your brains are just tired after a long day, so that's where AI can step in and get the creative juices flowing for a deeper conversation.

Get Better at Sexting

I'm good at sex, but I'm not good at sexting. You would think there would be a correlation, but not for me. I just feel too silly or predictable. So I told ChatGPT: "I want to send my husband something flirty while he's at work."

It suggested a few options. I picked one that felt like something I'd actually say: "You looked so good this morning."

He responded immediately: "Funny, I was just thinking the same thing about you."

I asked AI what to say next. It suggested: "I'm bored. And a little horny."

Him: "Dangerous combination. What are you going to do about it?"

Me (back to AI, desperately): "Thinking about you isn't helping."

Him: "What specifically are you thinking about?"

Me: "How much I wish I was under your desk right now."

Him: "And what would you do once you got there?"

Me: [frantically consulting AI one more time]

The conversation continued from there, getting progressively less work-appropriate. When he got home, it was basically straight to the bedroom. Later, while we were lying there, we both almost died laughing when he admitted he'd also been using AI for some of his responses. We were both consulting robots, and apparently, it worked. Dystopian? Maybe, but it was hot to build anticipation all day, and AI definitely made it a little bit easier.

Get Better at Massage Without Guessing

My husband had been complaining about his shoulder for days, and my usual massage technique is essentially some pressing and poking ("maybe this will help?"), so I asked AI for instructions on how to actually help him, but also be sexy at the same time. It gave me specific pressure points to target, which oils to use (lavender for calming, ylang ylang for other things), and told me to use my thumbs in circular motions along his shoulder blade, then down his spine.

It also suggested how to gradually shift from therapeutic to not-so-therapeutic: start with his shoulders, work down his back, and once he was relaxed, straddle him and lean in closer while continuing the massage. Then it told me to take off my shirt. I read the instructions out loud and saw the side of my husband's face lift into a smile.

"If you say so," I said with a shrug, lifting my t-shirt over my head.

When he returned the favor, he skipped the therapeutic part entirely, and I wasn't sad about it. Sometimes you just need someone (a robot, in this case) to tell you what to do so you stop doing the same three things you've always done.

Try Role-Play Without Feeling Like an Idiot

Role-play doesn't come naturally to me, but the few times we've done it have been so fun, and I want to do more of it. So I asked AI to choose a role-play scenario so I could pin it all on the chatbot. I texted my husband and said, "Chat chose this for us tonight."

It suggested a few options: strangers meeting at a hotel bar, professor and student (immediately no), masseuse and client, or boss and employee working late. I pressed it for more ideas, and it came up with a Regency era Lord and Lady, Batman and Catwoman, and a pilot and flight attendant scenario.

I picked the hotel bar one since it didn't require elaborate costumes or accents, although I saved a few of the others for later. Something about the fact that I didn't personally come up with it and could blame the AI ("oh, look what the chatbot came up with, how silly, let's do it") made me way less inhibited, and the sex was amazing.

Find New Positions

I told AI what my two favorite positions are (reverse cowgirl and from behind) and asked for three variations based on those preferences.

Two in particular caught my eye. For reverse cowgirl, instead of sitting upright, it told me to lean all the way forward and brace my hands on his thighs or the bed in front of him. For the other, it suggested having me arch my back more and reach one hand back to touch him while he's behind me.

We tried the reverse cowgirl variation first, and the difference was immediate. My husband grabbed my hips harder than usual, and I could feel the shift in angle working exactly like the AI promised. The second one we tried a few nights later, and the added touch excited him. I felt his grip tighten and heard him catch his breath.

Since then, I've asked AI for tips on other things, too (how to improve a handjob, ways to surprise him with a kiss, etc). I haven't told him where I'm getting my ideas because it's fun to keep him guessing..

Book That Trip You Keep Talking About

We'd been saying we should take a weekend away for six months, but every time we tried to plan it, we'd get overwhelmed with options. Finally, my husband asked AI for "romantic weekend getaways within three hours, under $1,000, nice bathtub, good food." It gave him four options with specific hotel recommendations and restaurants.

He picked one and booked it that day. I asked AI to make me a packing list, so I wouldn't forget anything important. We went, had sex twice (once in the nice bathtub), ate incredible food, slept in. Sometimes you need something to just make the decision, so you stop overthinking and actually do it.

Tips for How to Make AI Work for You

The common theme in all of these is letting AI handle your decision fatigue since it can narrow your options or expand them, depending on what you want. A few more things I learned that made asking AI way more useful:

Be way more specific than you think you need to be. "Give me date ideas" gets you generic suggestions but "Give me date ideas in Denver, under $200, outdoors but not hiking, with good views and somewhere we can bring wine" or "Give me date ideas in Chicago, indoor activities for winter, something hands-on like a cooking class but not cooking, under $150" gets you options you'd never think of on your own. The same goes for everything else: the more details you give, the better the suggestions.

Keep trying. If it gives you something boring or weird, just ask again with more detail or tell it what didn't work. I always go back and forth with it several times before getting something I actually want to do or try.

Have fun with it. This whole thing is a little ridiculous when you think about it: asking a robot for sex advice, but maybe that's what makes it work. You can laugh about it together, blame the weird suggestions on the AI, and try things you might have been too self-conscious to suggest on your own.