Move Over Mr. Darcy: Why Gilbert Blythe Is The Best Literary Crush

I’d never try to argue that Mr. Darcy isn’t a romantic hero for the ages. I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve read Pride and Prejudice and could spend hours debating the relative merits of various film adaptations. Jane Austen’s masterpiece is perhaps the best example ever of the enemies-to-lovers trope in literature. The sparkling repartee between Elizabeth and Darcy, the dramatic gesture of rescuing Elizabeth’s sister Lydia from ruin, the way in which Darcy’s good character comes to light over time—the appeal is obvious. 

However, it feels heretical to say it, but hear me out: there’s a strong case to be made that Gilbert Blythe from the Anne of Green Gables series is a superior literary crush to Mr. Darcy. Anne Shirley’s love story with Gilbert Blythe may not have Regency ballgowns, but it offers something even more romantic: a relationship grounded in friendship, mutual respect, and the habits shown by research to lead to lasting love.

A Relationship Rooted in Friendship

Anne and Gilbert’s relationship has a rocky beginning. He tries to get her attention by calling her “Carrots” in school (because of her red hair), and she retaliates by breaking a slate over his head. A bit harsh, perhaps? Anyway, Anne holds a grudge for years, even after Gilbert tries to apologize. At the end of Anne of Green Gables, Gilbert gives up an opportunity to teach at the local school, so that Anne can teach locally and help the woman who adopted her. (How’s that for a dramatic gesture?) Anne thanks him, and they become close friends. Gilbert tells her, “We are going to be the best of friends. We were born to be good friends, Anne. You’ve thwarted destiny long enough.” 

Later in the series, Anne realizes that Gilbert has romantic feelings for her and is confused. She turns down his first proposal because she only sees him as a friend at first. But (spoiler alert!) they do get together in the end.

The rest of the Anne of Green Gables series shows how their friendship provides a strong framework for their marriage. They have shared jokes and prioritize spending time together even as their family grows to six kids. Anne’s friend Leslie, who starts the book Anne’s House of Dreams in a very unhappy marriage, talks about how it hurt to see how happy Anne and Gilbert were in comparison: “I used to watch you from my window—I could see you and your husband strolling about your garden in the evening, or you running down the poplar lane to meet him.” They genuinely like spending time with each other and talking about both serious and light topics. 

The friendship Anne and Gilbert share isn’t just sweet. According to marriage researchers John and Julie Gottman, it’s the core of a lasting romantic partnership. As John Gottman writes in The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, “happy marriages are based on a deep friendship.” Anne and Gilbert aren’t just in love; they like each other.

If Jane Austen had written sequels to Pride and Prejudice (if only), we might have gotten glimpses like this of Elizabeth and Darcy over the years. So it’s not really fair to compare an eight-book series with one novel when deciding whose relationship has more staying power. That said, the lasting friendship between Anne and Gilbert is arguably more romantic than anything we see in Pride and Prejudice.

A Foundation of Mutual Respect

Anne and Gilbert’s friendship is grounded in a deep respect that grows over the years. During their school days, Anne and Gilbert compete for top grades, and even when Anne still dislikes Gilbert, she considers him a worthy academic rival. While teaching school, they study together to help each other prepare for college. Gilbert is genuinely happy for Anne when she wins a short story contest, and he tries to help her not be embarrassed when she worries what their college classmates will think about the story. 

Gilbert is drawn to Anne’s appearance, of course. But what really captures his heart is her character:

If Gilbert had been asked to describe his ideal woman the description would have answered point for point to Anne, even to those seven tiny freckles whose obnoxious presence still continued to vex her soul…In Gilbert's eyes Anne's greatest charm was the fact that she never stooped to the petty practices of so many of the Avonlea girls—the small jealousies, the little deceits and rivalries, the palpable bids for favor. Anne held herself apart from all this, not consciously or of design, but simply because anything of the sort was utterly foreign to her transparent, impulsive nature, crystal clear in its motives and aspirations.

That deep respect for who Anne is as a person gives their romance a solid foundation.

In Anne’s House of Dreams, Anne and Gilbert have two very serious disagreements. Anne eventually comes around to Gilbert’s point of view on both topics, but Gilbert listens to her initial objections, and they talk it out and come to a consensus. In Rilla of Ingleside, Gilbert does veto some of Anne’s volunteer involvement in the local Red Cross chapter during World War 1, because she is working so hard that it is impacting her health. But, by the same token, Anne has Gilbert take a hunting trip vacation in Anne of Ingleside because she thinks he’s been working too hard. In these situations, there’s no talk of power dynamics or gender roles. It’s just two thoughtful adults who love and respect each other as they try to figure out the best course of action and take care of each other. 

This mutual respect isn’t just nice to read about. It aligns with what researchers have found to be essential for a strong marriage. In conservative Christian circles, it’s common to hear that men fundamentally want respect and women fundamentally want love. Sheila Gregoire has pointed out some of the methodological problems with the research survey that led to this statement being accepted so widely and unquestioningly. Her research, and the work of John and Julie Gottman, shows that both love and respect are deeply important for both men and women. 

I do think Darcy respects Elizabeth. He takes her criticisms seriously and tries to address the issues Elizabeth points out in his character. But I think we have a lot more evidence for how Gilbert respects Anne. And that is extremely attractive. 

Reality vs. Fantasy

Apparently, the author L.M. Montgomery based Gilbert’s character on two of her exes. He’s a composite of the best traits of two people, fictionalized for mass appeal. Bottom line: like Mr. Darcy, Gilbert isn’t real. 

So don’t worry: I’m not trying to convince you to develop some kind of bizarre parasocial attachment to Gilbert Blythe. I agree with this Evie writer that investing emotional energy in crushes on fictional characters isn’t the best idea. I’m very happily married, and I can confirm that building a real relationship is far better than pining over an imaginary man. 

One of the great benefits of reading fiction, though, is that it prompts us to reflect on what we value and what we aspire to. Anne and Gilbert’s love story highlights the value of friendship and respect as cornerstones of romance. If seeing how Anne and Gilbert find happiness gives us some evidence-based ideas for pursuing lasting love in real life, that’s a win in my book. 

This article reflects the author’s personal opinions and does not necessarily represent the views of Evie Magazine.