Mastering Oral Sex: The Ultimate Guide To Giving Your Husband The Best Blowjob Of His Life

Disclaimer: This article is intended for readers 18 and older. It contains explicit adult content and is intended for educational purposes for married women only. Reader discretion is advised.

Unless you married a Tibetan monk or a eunuch from Westeros, your husband dreams of you on your knees, looking him in the eyes, and sucking him off to kingdom come. Barring your teeth grinding his shaft, your husband probably won’t complain, no matter how you do it. In fact, most guys would say that any head is better than none. But here’s the thing: A man will cross oceans, wage wars, build empires, and rewrite history for the woman who can truly blow his mind. And that’s where you come in. I’m going to teach you how to make him see stars. 

“Our sex life is just fine without it,” you say. “Besides, no woman actually enjoys giving head.” While I’m aware that’s a popular sentiment from some women on Twitter, I’d like to bashfully offer myself as proof that they’re wrong. The more I master my technique, the more fun and pleasurable it becomes for me. So let’s leave that sentiment where it belongs, in the Twitter garbage bin right next to “What do you bring to the table?”

If you love your husband, and you want to pleasure him, learning to give amazing head is one of the greatest gifts you can give. I’m not referring to the obligatory birthday blowjob that disgruntled men describe on depressing Reddit boards. I’m talking about the kind that makes him exclaim, “Holy %&$#, where did you learn that? You’re a sex goddess.”

There are countless articles and videos on the internet about mastering blowjobs. Not only have I read and watched many on the subject, but I have a lot of experience in this department. I was graced with naturally full lips, and I learned every trick in the book from a classmate who had a very particular reputation (her nickname was Dyson Diva… Dyson like the vacuum brand). She told me she was jealous of my natural DSLs and that it would be a crime if a woman with lips like mine didn’t learn to master the art of fellatio. Years later, I’ve since given my husband hundreds of blowjobs, and I genuinely love doing it. It’s one of the only times I see him squirm and melt, completely defenseless. For this article, I wanted to get a man’s perspective rather than another woman telling other women what men want. The following guide is the best distilled selection of advice you can find on the internet, tested by yours truly, and husband-approved. 

Get in the Right Headspace

If you’re not in the mood to give a blowjob, either get in the mood or don’t do it at all. He will sense if you don’t want to do it. The more turned on and excited you are, the better it will be for both of you. If you’re just going through the motions or doing it out of a feeling of obligation rather than sexual desire, that energy will be obvious to him, and he’ll be able to tell that you’re not enjoying it. You’ll find that the idea of giving a blowjob will be more enticing during certain times of the month, depending on how high your libido is. If you’re closer to your fertile window, you’ll be hornier in general. 

Take Time To Get Aroused: Whether through kissing, dirty talk, or having him go down on you first, getting physically aroused will be a huge help in getting in the right mental space. I personally find the idea of giving my husband a blowjob deliciously erotic, not only because I actually enjoy the sensation but because I find it very empowering to know that I’m in control of his pleasure and he’s at my mercy. 

Enthusiasm Is Everything

Show him you want it. Enthusiasm is one of the most important aspects of giving a great blowjob. Every professional sex guru and amateur content creator alike will agree – enthusiasm is non-negotiable. 

Why? Because nothing turns a man on more than knowing you love giving him a blowjob. Sure, men might be more physical than emotional when it comes to sex, but nothing kills the mood (and his erection) faster than sensing you’re not into it.

The best way to show enthusiasm is by being playful. A blowjob isn’t something serious – it’s meant to be erotic and naughty, but in a fun, teasing way. Moan in pleasure, breathe heavily, smile, giggle, and make eye contact as you go. That mix of pleasure and playfulness will drive him wild.

As things progress and the intensity increases, let the desperation creep in. Act like you can’t get enough of him, like you’re starving for his cock. The more you show that hunger, the more he’ll feel it. 

Positions for Giving Head

Let’s take a moment to talk about your position. How you position yourself changes the dynamic and has its own advantages. While the 69 position is my personal favorite for deep-throating due to the angle, there are two go-to positions for starting the blowjob I recommend: the classic "on your knees" or between his legs as he lies on his back.

On Your Knees

Kneeling before him isn’t just about easy access – it’s about putting on a show. He’ll love the dominant view, watching as you take control. You’ve got a direct line to his cock and balls, and you can play with different angles for maximum stimulation. Lean in closer for deep suction, or pull back for some playful tongue work. This position also lets you lock eyes with him while you're going down. The mix of his visual dominance and your control over the pace is electric.

Between His Legs 

Position him lying on his back with you between his legs, and you’re in full command. This setup not only gives you deeper access but also allows you to move comfortably without straining yourself. It’s perfect if you want to use both your hands and mouth, effortlessly transitioning from stroking his cock to teasing his balls and inner thighs. And don’t forget – this position also gives him a lovely view of your boobs, adding another layer of excitement.

Both positions offer different levels of control and stimulation, so pick the one that feels best for the moment, or switch it up to keep things fresh.

Tease Him First

Before you get to sucking, you want him to be rock hard. To do this, you want to tease him until he can’t take it anymore. Start slow. Kiss him sensually. Take deep slow breaths. Let your hands and lips explore his neck, chest, and abs before you go in for the kill. You want to get him worked up without giving it all away too soon.

Once you’ve teased him with your touch, bring in your tongue. Don’t rush straight to his cock. Instead, start licking from the top of his groin to his chest, then up to his neck. Keep it slow and deliberate. Let your tongue play as you move, teasing him with soft, wet licks. When you get close to his cock, stop. 

Lick around his groin, but hold back from sucking his dick. Gently lick from his balls to the tip of his cock. Brush your fingers lightly between his balls and his anus. This area, the perineum, is one of the most sensitive spots on his body, and light brushes or licks will make him rock hard.

So how do you know when he’s ready for the real thing? I like to wait until he’s practically dripping with pre-cum and fully erect, begging for me to take him in my mouth. 

Make Out with His Cock

Now that he’s fully ready, it’s time to give him a real taste – but don’t rush. This is still part of the tease, and you want to savor every second. Start slow, don’t go all in just yet. Begin by kissing the tip of his penis, soft and deliberate, with your lips pursed, almost like you’re saying “purple.” Let the drool drip from your lips and use it to smear along the shaft and around the head. Keep it wet, but don’t start sucking yet – this is all about lips and tongue. Think of it like you’re making out with his cock. Use slow, open-mouth kisses on the head until he’s completely wet and craving more.

Make It Drenched

I can’t stress this enough: the sloppier, the better. You want his cock completely drenched in spit, lube, or whatever you’re using. The wetter it is, the easier it’ll be to move, and the more pleasurable it’ll feel for him. Plus, you’ll avoid any uncomfortable friction that comes from being too dry.

Make sure you’re hydrated so you can generate plenty of saliva. You can spit directly onto the head of his cock – most guys find that incredibly hot – or just let the saliva build up and naturally drip down. Either way, the goal is to keep it wet.

Option for Lube: If you need more slipperiness, edible or flavored lube is a great backup. 

Pro Tip: Let it Drip. When you’ve got a good amount of saliva built up, pull away from his head slowly, letting the spit stretch between your mouth and his cock. It’s an extra visual that will drive him wild, and it keeps things perfectly slick.

Start (Actually) Sucking His Dick 

Now that he’s practically begging, that’s when you go in for the actual dick sucking. And again, when you start, don’t go too hard too fast, and don’t take him in all at once. You want to build up to it.

Start with just the head. Take just the tip of his penis into your mouth and suck your cheeks in. Rotate your head as you do, almost like you’re juicing an orange – this adds a whole new layer of stimulation. As you go up and down, take him in a little deeper with each motion. Down a bit, then back up. Then down a little further, and back up again, gradually working your way down until you’re as deep as you can go. The key here is pressure and actual suction. There’s a big difference between just putting his dick in your mouth and moving it versus really sucking him in.

Hollow your cheeks. As you take him in, suck in your cheeks to create a tight vacuum around his head and shaft. To feel the difference, put your index finger in your mouth with your lips relaxed. Now do it again, but this time suck on your finger. That’s what you’re aiming for – your lips sealed tight and your cheeks hollowed out. This will give him the sensation of being completely enveloped by your mouth. Keep the pressure consistent as you move in and out. 

Use Your Tongue

Now that you’re in the rhythm of sucking his dick, it’s time to bring in one of the most powerful tools at your disposal: your tongue. This is the technique that always seems to drive him mad. As you go up and down his penis, whether you’re taking him shallow or going deep, make sure your tongue is always working alongside the suction. 

• Swirl around the Cockhead: When you’re focusing on the head, swirl your tongue around it – clockwise, counterclockwise – especially right under the ridge where he’s most sensitive. Lick him from the base to the tip, paying extra attention to the top and sides of the head. 

• Lick the Frenulum: The frenulum, that spot just beneath the head on the underside, is typically the most sensitive part of his penis. Make sure you’re giving it attention throughout. Press your tongue against it as you suck. The combination of suction and tongue pressure will feel amazing.

• Flick the Tip: Think about how he might stimulate your clitoris with his tongue – use the same technique. Rapidly flick your tongue over the head of his cock and experiment with different tongue work.

Protect Him from Your Teeth!

Here’s a crucial tip: Always keep your tongue over your bottom teeth to avoid scraping. You’re sucking his dick, not biting it. Hard and sharp? A complete mood killer. Wet and soft? Exactly what he wants. Remember, a blowjob is about simulating the feeling of his erect penis going into your soft, wet vagina. If he feels your teeth, it’s game over. Whatever you do, use your tongue while you’re sucking. 

Hands and Mouth Combo

One of the best techniques you can use is combining a handjob with a blowjob. This is especially effective if he’s big and you can’t easily take the full length of his shaft. Think of it like this: Your lips focus on sucking the head, your tongue swirls around it, and your hands stroke the shaft up and down, rotating your wrists for added intensity. The key to making this combo work is coordination. Make sure your hands and mouth are in sync so your movements feel smooth and rhythmic. Another technique he’ll love is to make a hollow “O” with your mouth, take in just the tip of his penis but keep your lips loose, flick your tongue rapidly on the head, and stroke his shaft simultaneously. Add dramatic pop kisses to his cockhead for an extra playful effect. 

Use Both Hands

Use both hands to complement your mouth. As you suck, wrap your hands lightly around his shaft and twist them in opposite directions. The sensation of your lips, tongue, and rotating hands working together is what men dream of. You can also use one hand to gently play with his balls while the other continues stroking the length of his cock. 

Playfully Slap

Add a playful twist by pushing his cock to the side of your mouth and playfully slapping your cheek with it. This little tease adds a fun, lighthearted element to the moment and keeps things from feeling too serious. 

Use this time to playfully experiment with different strokes, sucks, speed, pressure, and combinations. 

Don’t Forget the Balls and Taint

Alternate between sucking his cock and lavishing attention on his balls. Cup them in your hand, massage them, or gently roll them while your mouth works his shaft.

T-Bag Him. One of my favorite moves is to gently suck his balls while I stroke his cock. Invert your hand so your palm faces up, with his tip pointing upward as you focus on his balls. Take your time to suck each of them lightly, but be careful – they’re very sensitive! The area just below the balls, the taint, is one of those spots that’s often ignored but incredibly responsive. Lightly stroke it or massage it with your fingertips while you’re working his dick. 

Make It Noisy

Remember, enthusiasm makes a blowjob insanely hot. One of the best ways to show enthusiasm is by making noise. Slurping, moaning, and the sound of your heavy breathing make it raw, real, and incredibly sexy. Let him hear how much you’re into it. The more vocal you are, the more erotic it becomes. Don’t be shy about gasping for air or letting your breath get heavy. 

Communicate with Dirty Talk

I like to check in as I go under the guise of dirty talk. A simple, “You like that, baby?” or “Does it feel good when I suck your balls?” sprinkled in here and there can do wonders to keep him engaged and also find out what he loves most. A bit of dirty talk makes the experience feel more interactive, reminding him that you’re fully in the moment with him. And trust me, hearing your voice in those moments will make it that much hotter. 

It’s not just about the words, though. Pay close attention to his body language, the way he moans, and the way he moves. His body will tell you everything you need to know about what’s working. When you’re in sync with his reactions, adjusting as needed, you’ll have him completely under your spell without having to ask much at all.

Jerk Him Off When You Need a Break

If your jaw starts getting tired or you need to really catch your breath, don’t stop the action. Instead, switch things up and give yourself a break by transitioning into a handjob, just make sure he’s still dripping wet with saliva or lube and reapply if necessary. 

Use one hand to play with his balls and taint, while the other strokes his shaft. Rotate your wrist as you move up and down, or take it further by wrapping both hands around his cock, twisting them in opposite directions. Let the top hand twist the cockhead as it moves up to keep him on edge. You don’t want to build him up to orgasm and let him release. You want to take him to the edge, then bring him back down. Doing this multiple times will create a powerful orgasm when you do decide to let him come. 

Deep Throat (Optional)

Deep-throating is when you slide his cock down your throat instead of hitting the back. When done right, it creates a deeper, more intense sensation for both of you. Now, deep throating is a personal preference. I personally enjoy the challenge and the way it makes him completely melt, but it’s difficult and not for everyone. You can absolutely give an incredible blowjob without ever going that far, and a loving husband should never pressure you if it’s too painful or you’re not comfortable doing it. But if you enjoy it, or you’ve been curious and want to try, here are some tips to make it easier:

1. Be in the right position: For a more comfortable deep-throating experience, the 69 position is ideal. Have him lie on his back while you position yourself above him, with your pussy over his mouth and his cock beneath yours. In this position, you can adjust your body slightly forward, allowing his dick to follow the natural curve of your throat. This angle makes it easier to deep-throat without triggering your gag reflex. Plus, it’s intensely erotic for both of you, as you’re giving and receiving at the same time.  

2. Relax and Breathe: Deep-throating can feel intimidating, but with practice, it becomes easier. The key is to relax your throat and take slow, controlled breaths through your nose as you go down. Staying calm and keeping your breathing steady will help keep the gag reflex at bay, allowing you to get used to the sensation without discomfort.

3. Training Your Gag Reflex: If you’re new to deep-throating, start with shallow movements and gradually push yourself to take him deeper each time. This helps your throat get used to the sensation. You can also train your gag reflex with a toothbrush or your fingers, stimulating the back of your throat over time. With regular practice, the reflex will diminish, making it easier to take him comfortably.

4. Hold Your Breath at Key Moments: When you’re ready to take him deep, hold your breath as he reaches the back of your throat. This can help prevent the gag reflex from kicking in. Make sure to breathe through your nose before and after you go deep, keeping a steady rhythm without gasping for air.

Once his cock is deep in your throat, you’ve got a few options. You can slowly slide him in and out, letting the depth do the work while keeping your throat relaxed. If you want to tease him, hold him there for a few seconds, just long enough to make him squirm, before pulling back for air. For something extra, try gently moving your head side to side while he’s buried in your throat. Try mixing it up to see how he reacts – hold him deep, pull back, then dive back in.

Preparing for his Cum

When he’s about to cum, how you handle it depends on your preference and what feels right for the moment. Some prefer to use a blowjob as foreplay and then transition to sex before he orgasms. If that’s your choice, you know what to do! If you’re giving him a blowjob as the main event however, here are the most popular options:

• Swallow: Most men love this. If you want to swallow, keep the rhythm steady as he gets closer. Keep sucking gently as he cums, and swallow slowly while still holding him in your mouth. If you want to avoid tasting his cum, have him further back in your mouth so that his semen shoots directly into your throat. 

• Spit: A lot of women don’t like to swallow, and that’s okay! You can let the cum build up in your mouth, then pull away to discreetly spit it into a towel. Make sure you slow down and keep things sensual, waiting for his throbbing to end before pulling out. 

• Let It Spill: If you’re feeling playful and want to make the moment more erotic, let the cum spill out of your mouth and drip onto his cock. You can keep stroking him with your hands and then go back to sucking and licking, creating a messy, sexy visual that he’ll love. 

• On Your Boobs: Just before he cums, you can pull back and let him finish on your chest while you’re kneeling or lie on your back off the bed and frame your boobs with your arms so that they look extra round and perky. This visual can be incredibly erotic for both of you. Keep stroking him with your hands to make sure every drop is out. 

Whichever way you choose to receive his cum, keep milking him until he’s fully drained.

Spicy Tip: Use a Safe Word

Agree on a safe word beforehand, and keep going when he cums. I recommend using your name, so he can speak it to let you know when it’s too much. When he’s cumming, don’t stop – keep sucking, but slow down. He’ll be incredibly sensitive, and that gentle suction will have him moaning, gasping, and squirming. Keep going until he clearly says your name. Then pull away with a sexy smile. 

Give Him Some Aftercare

Once he’s finished, don’t just stop abruptly – slow down gently. Aftercare is an important part of keeping the experience intimate. As the intensity fades, ease him back into reality with soft kisses or gentle licks on his cock. Use tender touches to show your affection. Run your hands over his chest, down his thighs, or wherever feels natural. Give him a smile or a soft giggle to let him know how much you enjoyed it. It’s a cute, sexy way to end the moment on a high note and show him that blowing him was your pleasure, too. 

Practice Makes Perfect

Like anything worth mastering, you’ll only get better with practice. Each time, you’ll fine-tune your technique, discover new things that drive him wild, and grow more confident in your skills. If you’re more of a visual learner, don’t hesitate to watch videos online. There are plenty of non-pornographic demonstrations using cucumbers or dildos that can give you a better sense of what works. And the best part? You get to practice on your husband. Trust me, he won’t mind being the center of your sexual education! 

If you’re thinking, “that was a lot to take in,” here’s a quick checklist you can use as a reminder the next time you’re about to give head: 

Your Blowjob Checklist:

• Get in the right headspace.

• Show enthusiasm.

• Build anticipation: tease him, get him hard.

• Make out with his cock: start slow.

• Suction: use real suction – hollow cheeks and create a vacuum. 

• Use your tongue: swirl, flick, and focus on the frenulum.

• Drench it: wetter is better – use spit or lube.

• Hands + mouth combo: sync them up for maximum effect. 

• Rotate your head and your wrists as you suck and stroke.

• Make it noisy: moan, slurp, breathe heavy.

• Don’t forget his balls and taint.

• Avoid common mistakes: no teeth, don’t rush, and keep it wet! 

• Use dirty talk: check in, keep it sexy.

• Switch to handjob if you need a break. 

• Deep throat: relax, breathe, position yourself right.

• Pacing: Use edging to build him up and down before bringing him to climax.

• Handling his cum: transition to sex, swallow, spit, let it spill, or on your boobs.

• Aftercare: soft touches, kisses, and show affection.

If you want to read more practical tips and tutorials like this, head to Evie's new Sex section!