Is Millennial Culture Responsible For TikTok "Cheatfluencers?"
"Infidelity" is being treated as a "growth journey," and we can't help but wonder if this is just another millennial attempt to normalize cheating.
A woman named Chelsea, a.k.a. @theowandthewife on IG, brands herself as the empathic guru of infidelity “healing.” Her website introduces her mission as a “sanctuary of empathy, reflection, and growth” for those affected by infidelity, offering a safe space for “emotional honesty” and “self-discovery.”
Chelsea recently shared a video on Instagram confessing that she cheated on her spouse a long time ago with another man (whom she eventually married and had three kids with). In the video, she talks about rejecting the old “once a cheater, always a cheater” trope, chalking it up to a "myth" that unfairly labels people for life. In her words, she says it “paints people with a single, unchangeable brushstroke,” ignoring their “capacity for growth.” Understandably, people are mad about her post. Being cheated on can cause so much pain and betrayal trauma that healing can take years.
Twitter user @negraesoterica, who goes by A on the platform, who goes by A on the platform, believes there is a growing normalization of infidelity culture, and I have to agree. “I know the subject matter is nothing new, but why does it seem like a new phenomenon to outwardly praise infidelity and betrayal?” she wrote.
“This woman is super popular on both Tiktok and IG for *checks notes* not only having cheated on her husband but also being some other married man's affair partner. I wish it was a bit, but alas.”
“The comments by and large are reaming her, and rightfully so, but [in] *Carrie Bradshaw voice* I couldn't help but wonder – is it a result of a society hell-bent on coddling and rewarding people regardless of their conduct?” A pondered. “Is it the remnants of girl boss feminism that refuses to hold women accountable for their wrongdoings? Some secret third thing?”
The media did and still glamorizes infidelity here – take Waitress or The Bridges of Madison County, stories that painted cheating as some soulful escape for women who just weren’t understood by their partners. @negraesoterica says she “used to watch those with stars” in her eyes but now gives them the “side-eye.”
The more you think about it, the more you see how normalized cheating has become. Millennials, in particular, seem almost eager to downplay infidelity, often couching it in terms of "not meant to be monogamous." Pop culture hasn’t helped either, hypersexualizing everything and everyone. Sex and the City practically made casual sex a personality trait; even Cosmopolitan has been on the “cheating tips” train.
Self-growth is great and all, but let’s not pretend it erases the past. It’s one thing to say you’ve learned from a past mistake, and it’s another to expect everyone else to shrug it off like it’s yesterday’s news. Loyalty might be going out of style, but if there’s any cultural norm worth trying to revive, maybe it’s this one.
Subscribe today to get unlimited access to all of Evie’s premium content.