How To Purge Your Closet When You Hate To Get Rid Of Things

Welcome to the season of fresh starts. And also that of decluttering and purging. The one in which we’re expected to open up closets and go through drawers and get rid of everything we don’t need or haven’t used in a while. Which, in theory, sounds fabulous. Unburdened dressers and clutter-free surfaces? Sounds like a hotel. Sounds like a dream.

Except, in order to get to that point, it would mean ridding ourselves of some very prized possessions. Like the sparkly little shoes we bought on sale five years ago and haven’t worn yet, not even once. Or the extra-padded headband that’s sure to be perfect for something, someday – we just haven’t figured out what. A true fashion lover’s dilemma.

Serenity How

Up until now, these things have remained, languishing in our otherwise delightful closets, taking up physical and mental space that could otherwise be used very productively. The problem is too much stuff can be taxing. When discussing clutter, Dr. Bethany Cook, a licensed clinical psychologist in Chicago, told House Beautiful that “studies have shown that it’s more difficult for a person to focus when their visual cortex is over-stimulated.” According to Dr. Cook, we benefit psychologically from an organized, streamlined space. 

Which begs the question, why is it so hard to get rid of things? Wouldn’t we all love the benefits of a more deliberate space? And wouldn’t a rational person realize that when it comes to long unused clothes, if we haven’t worn them yet, we probably never will? Even the most sentimental among us could benefit from the peace that comes with living intentionally.

Sentimental Tulle

There are probably a few reasons why it’s so difficult to scale down. First, when deciding whether to keep or toss, the nagging question is, “what if I need it later?” Despite not having worn something in a very long time, our imaginative brains can come up with future scenarios where this might be the exact thing we need. (“You never know!”)

The other obstacle to downsizing is sentimentality. There’s obviously no problem with holding onto a few truly meaningful items. Reminiscing is fun. But what about when over-sentimentality appropriates random items of clothing that don’t fit anymore and definitely are no longer in style (rainbow tulle prom dress, anyone?)? This is when we need an intervention. The good news is, it’s not going to be as hard as you think.

Purging your closet can be quite easy and painless, even fun. Take one look at Marie Kondo and you can't help but notice – she seems pretty happy. 

Taking our cues from her, and another prominent closet expert, we’re showing you the way to a curated, clutter-free closet that you’ll love opening each morning. 

The Method

After much research, we’ve settled on an approach that combines the genius of two greats: tidy maestro Marie Kondo and style queen Allison Bornstein. We blended the KonMari Method and AB’s Closet Editing System into one simple process that you can do in a day and reap benefits from all year long. We’ll walk you through it, but before we do, the secret to success might be penciling in a closet cleanout day in the first place. If you’re anything like me, merely intending for it to happen will likely not produce actual results. If you schedule it, however, and write it down in the brand-new planner we know you have, the likelihood of it happening is much higher.

Once the big day has arrived, it’s time to begin.

Visualize Your Dreams

Start by visualizing your dream closet, Marie Kondo style. What does your ideal space look like? What does it contain? What does it not contain? What system of organization is utilized? How does it feel? For me, it’s helpful to have two visions in my head: one of the ultimate dream closet in the dream historic house downtown (*currently manifesting*), and another of the “dream version” of the closet I currently own. No harm in dreaming big while working with what you’ve got.

Let the (Editing) Games Begin

Now you’re ready to begin the actual purging/closet editing process. Allison Bornstein recommends the following five steps:

Step 1: The Regulars: Go into your closet and take out everything you wear often. These aren't necessarily things that you love, just things that you wear all the time. Hang them on a spare rolling rack or lay them on your bed. Once you’ve pulled them all out, notice patterns. Why do you reach for these pieces so often? Are there common themes, colors, fabrics, or prints? Ask yourself questions like “When do I wear this? How do I wear this? How do I feel when I wear this?” Don’t judge any of it, just consider it data that you’ll use in the future.

Step 2: The Nevers: Repeat the process with things that you never wear. These could be things you love but never wear, things you hate and never wear, etc. It's simply everything you never wear. Once you’ve completed this step, you should have the “regulars” on one side of the room, and the “nevers” on the other.

Step 3: The No’s, the Not Now’s, and the How’s: Further categorize your “nevers” into three groups: the no’s, the not now’s, and the how’s. The “no’s” are items you know you want to get rid of. They either don’t fit, you don’t like them anymore, or they’re simply no longer needed. Next, the “not now’s” are things you don’t wear often, but aren’t quite ready to get rid of. They might be pieces for a special occasion or particular event. Put these items in a box that’s accessible, but not easily accessible (you want them out of the way). The last category is the “how” pile; these are items you love, but don’t know how to style or wear. 

Step 4: The Revival: Before moving to the final step of organizing, we want to revive as many of the “hows” as possible. These items probably feel a little risky, or you would have found more ways to wear them by now. According to Bornstein, the best way to take a risk and wear something you don’t normally wear is to style it with something you wear all the time. Go through each of your “hows” and pair it with a “regular” to see how you might make it work (Bornstein has some great examples here). Odds are you’ll find some winning combinations that you can’t wait to wear. However, if there’s something you still can’t make work, it might be better in the “no” or the “not now" pile. Again, the goal is to revive as many “hows” as you can, so you can keep (and wear) pieces you truly love. 

Step 5: Organize: The final step is to organize whatever is left. Start by putting everything back in your closet, arranged by category, and then by color. All the tops go together, pants go together, dresses, etc. Within each category, group like colors together, so everything will be easy to find (and aesthetically pleasing). Voilà.

Take It Home

Finally, after putting all the clothes away, tidy up the remaining items in your closet. Marie Kondo believes that every item you own should have a designated “home,” or somewhere that it belongs. Find a place for everything you want to keep, so it has a purposeful “home” in your space. This is a good time to bring in some pretty baskets or boxes for those miscellaneous items that spark joy. Not only does this make it easier to find things when you need them, but it also ensures there is aesthetically pleasing order and organization in one of the most important areas in your house (fashion is life). So when everything else is a hot mess express, at least your closet has got it together. 

Some final tips on getting rid of things: keep a “discard” box in your closet for easy purging moving forward, and remember the benefits of letting go. Shifrah Combiths writes for Apartment Therapy: “Decluttering opens the door for some pretty great things. You gain space, time, and energy. Keep your eye on the prize and use the motivation to redouble your decluttering verve.” That’s something we can all get behind.

Who’s the Boss

And now – big sigh of relief – you’re done. In all likelihood, you’re feeling pretty on top of the world right now, and you should. In Allison Bornstein’s words: “It is going to feel so joyful to stand in front of your closet and see something that is organized and contains things that are actually pleasing to you. Remember, you are in control of this space…your closet should reflect, and work for, you.”

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