How To Make Your Voice More Attractive, According To A Professional Voice Coach

When I first met my husband, I was drawn to him through that crazy feeling we call “chemistry” — an unexplainable pop of energy and connection you have with someone who could be truly special in your life. The two things I remember thinking as I got to spend a little time sitting close to him throughout that first evening were that I liked how he smelled (maybe it was the pheromones) and that I liked his voice. 

The voice is often an underappreciated aspect of physical attraction, whether it’s in a friendship or a romantic relationship. We do notice someone’s voice more explicitly if they have an accent, which shows in the fact that 39% of American women find British accents attractive or alluring in men. Or we might notice someone’s voice if they sound especially sultry, have an infectious laugh, or have a particularly high or deep voice. 

If you want to make your voice more attractive, though, I wouldn’t advise pretending to be from another country or trying to totally shift the register that you naturally use when you speak. That sort of false pretense won’t do you much good when you’re trying to establish a true, authentic connection with a guy or a new friend. Instead, I’d love to share with you some ways to make the unique voice you were born with more attractive. As a professional voice coach with over six years of experience coaching everyone from podcast hosts to aspiring opera singers, yoga teachers to folk musicians, and over 16 years studying and experimenting with my own voice, I’ve gathered a few tips and tricks that will help you sound like the best and most natural version of you.

What Makes Someone’s Voice Attractive? 

Essentially, an attractive voice sounds confident, healthy, and natural. 

We all know that confidence is attractive. Not arrogance or pride, but the kind of ease someone can have with being themselves that helps us feel comfortable in our own skin around them. The same thing is true when it comes to the voice — it’s generally a confident, assured voice that makes us feel relaxed and eager to spend more time with someone. 

To get at what makes a confident voice, it might be easier to picture the opposite. Imagine someone who sounds unsure of each word that comes out of their mouth, who ends even their statements like questions, and whose voice seems to have a pinched or tight quality to its tone. This person doesn’t sound relaxed, and chances are you won’t feel relaxed talking to them, either. 

While confidence with speaking might not come naturally to every personality, if you work on maintaining a healthy and natural voice, no matter the social context, you’re going to find your own sweet spot of vocal attractiveness. You might have to combine a little fake-it-till-you-make-it mentality in public while you work on various exercises in private, but that is totally okay. Developing your voice is a specifically playful activity, so your willingness to try things and be a little silly will open the door to true, grounded confidence before you know it. In fact, if I could leave you with just this, I would say being willing to be vocally playful will automatically make your voice more attractive.

Here Are a Few Things To Avoid:

Before we dive into some exercises to try at home to grow your confidence in your own natural and healthy voice, here are some basic things to avoid if you want your voice to be appealing to others:

• Don’t talk too loudly. No one wants to feel like you’re shouting in their ear when you’re sitting right next to them.

• Don’t talk too softly. If they can’t understand what you’re saying, how will the two of you start truly connecting?

• Don’t talk all on one pitch. Speaking in a monotone voice makes you sound bored, just when you want someone to feel like they’re special and interesting.

• Don’t speak all from the throat. While we might like the idea of a “throaty laugh” or associate the throat with a deeper, more sultry voice, your throat should actually just stay relaxed and open while you speak rather than tense up and try to “help.” Too much throat tension can hurt your voice over time.

• Don’t talk too fast. Unless this is just an integral part of who you are, in which case there might be an exception, in general, you want people to be able to follow what you’re saying without extra effort. Talking at a more moderate speed will also make people feel like there’s room to engage and respond.

• Don’t talk too slowly. Recent research shows that we often associate slower speech patterns with lying — not exactly what you’re going for here!

Remember, Your Lifestyle Affects Your Voice

One more point I want to make before we do some vocal play together: Everything that happens to you, happens to your voice. If you aren’t sleeping well, eating well, exercising, and managing your stress levels, these things are going to show up in your voice. We all know how things like excessive smoking can affect your voice, but all those other little choices you make every day are affecting it as well. If you aren’t staying healthy, your voice won’t sound healthy, and just like with physical looks, health is one of the most attractive qualities in a voice. 

To take this even further, I believe that the sound of your voice reflects the state of your soul. If you are internally struggling, it’s highly unlikely that your voice will come out smoothly and with a pleasing sound. One way we have all seen this is the moment before someone is about to start to cry, their voice gets wobbly, crackly, and seemingly less in their control. Similarly, any state of emotion or inner conflict can come out in big or subtle ways in your voice, and others will notice, at least on a primal gut level, that something is off with you. This can affect everything from whether they feel they can trust you to if they find you alluring or not. While this may be tough to hear, hopefully it’s empowering to know that if you try to get your inner world into alignment, your voice will automatically become more attractive. If the evil queen’s got your voice, so to speak, the prince may not realize that you’re the one he fell in love with. So remember to take care of yourself!

Exercises To Try at Home

While you’re doing your best to stay confident, playful, and relaxed when you’re talking to that new guy, behind the scenes you can dive a little deeper with some of these vocal warm-ups and exercises to get that naturally attractive voice of yours to truly shine. 

1. Practice Diaphragmatic Breathing

As often as you can, work on taking deep breaths that fill up your lungs, expand your rib cage on all sides, and engage your diaphragm, the muscle that’s below your ribs and separates your lungs from the rest of your lower abdomen. This kind of breathing works wonders for your voice, in part because it strengthens the muscles that function as what singers call “breath support.” In addition, diaphragmatic breathing triggers your parasympathetic nervous system, letting your body know you’re in a relaxed state rather than in a fight or flight situation. What better way to help your voice stay calm and confident? Plus, you can actually do this one while you’re with whoever you’re hoping to woo with your voice, since it’s silent and invisible. 

2. Explore Your Resonance

Now that you’re in touch with your breath, you’ll want to find out how it feels when your voice really resonates. When you speak or sing, your voice vibrates not just from your vocal cords, but in all of the cartilage, bone, and big or small cavities of your face. Sometimes you can feel it in your lips and your teeth! We call all of this space the vocal mask. To get a sense for what it feels like to speak more resonantly, you’ll want to find a buzzy hum sound. While humming, move your pitches around slowly until you find a spot that makes your lips tickle — this means you’re resonating your mask. When you speak with resonance, your voice will sound brighter, clearer, and more audible, even at softer volumes. Plus, it’s healthier and more comfortable to speak more forward rather than focusing your sound further back, like in the throat. 

3. Warm Up Your Range

Vocal warm-ups aren’t just for singers! A great way to get your speaking voice feeling smooth and flowing is to regularly warm up your entire range. Make an open vowel sound like “ah” or “oo,” and pretend your voice is a paintbrush sweeping up and down and around from your lowest note to your highest note. This is called a “vocal siren” and is a super easy way to wake up your whole voice. If you like this and how it makes your voice feel more awake and alive, try looking up other vocal warm-ups online!

4. Practice Reading Aloud

One way you can practice everything from pacing, tonality, delivery, annunciation, and everything else that makes your voice attractive (or not) is by reading books aloud. Work on speaking at a moderate speed, adding inflection when appropriate, and engaging your listeners (real or pretend) with your dynamic storytelling voice. Be sure to be playful, trying different things to see what works and what feels and sounds good to you. Notice if you can incorporate diaphragmatic breathing and that buzzy sensation we practiced earlier while you’re reading, as well. 

5. Sing More

This might be my most fun suggestion, or for some, my scariest! I simply suggest that you add more singing to your daily life. Sing in the shower, sing along to the radio in the car, sing to your dog or to kids or with friends. The more comfortable you can get being free, musical, and creative with your voice, the more your speaking voice will open up into its fullest and most healthy version of itself. You’ll notice your voice becoming less monotone and more soothing the more time you spend singing freely. After all, humans were given voices not just to speak but to sing!

Closing Thoughts

I hope these insights and exercises help you get to know your voice in new ways and lead you to your healthiest and most attractive speaking voice. Remember that part of what makes your voice attractive is that it reflects you and who you are — a one-of-a-kind, beautifully imperfect human being. Don’t be afraid to explore the natural vocal nuances you may have and to share your unique voice confidently with the world.

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