How I’m Entering My Homemaking Era As A Working Woman
Take it from the least girly-girl person you’ll ever meet – it’s time to enter your homemaking era.
I’ve spent many of my adult years telling myself that homemaking was an aesthetic that just wasn’t really my style. I’ve never felt particularly good at arts and crafts, and I don’t have a huge natural interest in fashion or decorating. I always thought I just wasn’t, you know, “one of those girls.”
But one day, I woke up and realized that my day job was reaping less and less satisfaction every day, and the way I lived outside working hours wasn’t bringing me much satisfaction either. Most of my meals were made by strangers. My home wasn’t a place I felt like inviting the people I love into. I felt like a sojourner in my own life, and that’s when I realized the sad truth: I was treating myself in a way that I would never treat a husband or children, and that meant something in my life had to change.
There could be many reasons you’re looking to enter into your personal homemaking era. Maybe you’re recently married and want to establish a healthy home culture, or you’ve quit your job to stay home with the kids and you’re not sure where to start. Maybe, like me, you’re a single girl in a 9-to-5 that doesn’t completely satisfy and you want to choose something better for yourself. Whatever place you’re in, know this: Homemaking isn’t just an aesthetic, and you don’t have to make big changes in order to see big rewards. Here's a small list of the things I’ve done recently that have helped me settle into my own homemaking era.
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Light a Candle
Kickstart your journey back into your feminine energy in a big way with this one small step. The second I enter my home in the afternoon, I light a candle as a ritual marker that my time at home has begun. Not a fake, chemical-filled candle from Bath & Body Works either. Find a really high quality beeswax candle with essential oils for scents. Lighting a beeswax candle creates a warm ambiance at home, but it has the added health benefits of cleaning out the air in your home and filling it with scents that aren’t poisoning it at the same time.
Careful – this habit can become addictive in the best way. I’ve come to love my evening candles so much that I learned how to make my own to keep up with the need. Arts and crafts, here we come!
Make Beef Bone Broth
Ladies, I’m here to tell you: There is nothing more empowering than a homemade broth. Beef broth is my personal favorite, but maybe that’s just because picking a chicken has been an acquired taste for me. Many people use a stock pot when they make broth, but I think it’s easier with a crock pot (here’s my current favorite). Simply throw the bones, veggies, and water into the crock pot overnight, and you wake up to delicious broth and the added bonus of a house that smells absolutely amazing.
Homemade broth has countless health benefits that will make you look and feel better. You can drink the broth straight for its health benefits, turn it into a healthy hot chocolate, or just turn it into a good old-fashioned soup.
Keep a Plant Alive
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m still working on this one. I’ve never had “a green thumb,” so I’ve avoided keeping anything green in my vicinity. But when I noticed how stuffy the air in my apartment was becoming, I took a friend’s advice and bought three snake plants, which I named after the Brontë sisters.
Snake plants and succulents are perfect for first-time plant owners like myself because they’re really hard to kill. You can forget to water them – in fact, it’s almost better to, since they only need water every month or so. Despite this, they are still lovely to behold and have the same health benefits as other plants, including the way living plants release oxygen into your home. Science even suggests that plants increase concentration and reduce stress. They’re well worth the risk for those of us who haven’t developed that green thumb yet. Just don’t name your plants after short-lived authors, though. That’s a bit of a jinx.
Buy a Cookbook
Several years ago, during a budget crunch, I realized that too much of my salary was going to restaurants. That also meant most of the food I ate came from someplace I didn’t know and was made by someone I didn’t know. But the food at restaurants seemed so exciting and tasty – Italian, Mexican, Indian, you name the cuisine, I love it. If I was going to eat at home, I needed to figure out how to make something comparable.
Many people follow online food blogs or Instagram accounts, and if that works for you, go for it! I’m a bit more old school, so I browsed the cookbook section of my local bookstore until I found one with lots of pictures that made my mouth water. I like the physicality of a cookbook, the ease of flipping back and forth between pages. Plus, I feel a different sense of accomplishment when I’ve made a successful meal and put a little star next to the title.
My current favorite cookbook is the Mexican Keto Cookbook. If you’re looking for something a bit more comprehensive, I highly recommend the classic Nourishing Traditions Cookbook. Many recipes are designed for 4-6 people, but even if you’re not cooking for that number of people, I recommend cooking that amount. It’s either a great excuse to host some friends at your place or have delicious leftovers for lunch the next day.
Don’t Wait To Buy the Picture Frames
In front of the cold, blank wall of my bedroom, for much longer than I care to admit, I had a perfectly neat stack of pictures and wall decorations doing absolutely no good whatsoever. I had placed them there with a vague intention to “go buy picture frames someday” before I hung them up. Actually taking that shopping trip changed my approach to my home more than I could have predicted. Instead of a cluttered pile of future decorations, I came home to a place surrounded by beauty – and all it took was a quick trip to Hobby Lobby.
Here’s the problem with waiting to decorate your space, whether it be one room or a whole apartment: When we delay beautifying our space, it makes our space feel temporary. Decorating of any kind does not have to be extravagant or expensive in order to turn your home into a romantic haven. Homemaking is about building something that will last, and that means a beautiful space that brings joy to you. Don’t make yourself wait for a home that brings you joy – just go buy your picture frames.
Throw a Party Once a Month
Believe it or not, this one’s not just for extroverts like me. We live in an age where the art of hospitality is becoming increasingly rare, and let’s face it – there’s something romantic in the idea of saving a dying art form. But throwing a wholesome party also doesn’t have to be expensive or difficult; in fact, most of the best parties just have a few well-placed lights, good food, and a good conversation.
But that’s only one reason I’ve come to love hosting at my house. The most important reason for me is that it gives me a reason to keep my home clean. I’m not a neat freak by any stretch of the imagination, and without the right motivation, it’s easy to feel like making my bed or washing the dishes can just wait for tomorrow. Years of trying to guilt myself into better habits never did the trick, but hosting at my home has. When I know that my friends and family will be routinely coming over sometime soon, I want to take the time to tidy up. Because the motivation is focused outward on others, it feels like an investment and not a burden. Ultimately, when you give others the gift of hospitality, you’re also giving yourself the gift of a clean home.
Move Your TV Out of the Living Room
There is no one on this planet who loves watching movies and TV more than I do, but I realized that my living room space had become entirely focused on a screen, and it was affecting my relationship with my home. There’s something subconscious that happens when we center our spaces on screens instead of relationships, and merely placing my TV in the center of the room was all it took to throw off that balance. When I decided to make my home work for me, I saw that my TV and movies needed a dedicated, separate space so that home could be more focused on the people I spent time with and less on the things I watched.
That’s not the only benefit, though. When I made the decision to move my TV into a different space, it freed up a whole portion of my spatial creativity that I didn’t know existed. Suddenly, I was interested in which angle the couch looked best at, and I cared about which type of lamp I purchased for the corner. If you’ve ever felt like decorating wasn’t really your thing, start by making a separate space for screens.
Build a Girl Squad Who Values Your Femininity More Than You Do
Whether she thinks she’s a “girl’s girl” or not, every woman needs close female companionship. And let’s be real, the older you get, the harder it can feel to make deep friendships that will last. But there are ways to find a tribe that supports your femininity – and if you’re here at Evie, you’ve already taken a great first step!
Here’s what I’ve learned about entering my homemaking era and reigniting my feminine energy: It’s easier with some girlfriends encouraging you along the way. Making my home and life beautiful and caring for my femininity have become easier the more friends I make who value my femininity even more than I do myself. It’s not a question of peer pressure – it’s about support when you feel weak and those old habits creep back in. With the right girl squad, your journey into your homemaking era can be a shared journey, which, in my opinion, is always the best kind.
Closing Thoughts
Make 2024 the year you begin your homemaking journey. Homemaking isn’t just a service that you bring to the table as a wife and mother – it’s a way of life that blesses everyone around you and, most especially, yourself. Don’t get overwhelmed – start with simple steps and develop a community that will support you. From one beginner to another, I promise you won’t regret it.
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