Got A Lousy Ex-Boyfriend? Rate Him On The ‘TripAdvisor For Exes’

The Ex-Boyfriend List is a database dedicated to rating “lousy” exes and was created by a woman named Tracy Tegan. “We all have that loser ex we want to warn others about, and now you can do just that. This is your very own bad boyfriend database,” the website states.

How Did the Ex-Boyfriend List Come About?

The site itself has been around since 1997, when its founder, Tracy Tegan, created it under the name mensuck.com after watching her younger sister go through a painful breakup. After repeatedly saying “men suck” to her younger sister, she decided to check to see if the domain was free. It was, and so the site was born! 

“I wanted to create a safe place for women to talk about their experiences,” Tegan said in an interview with Stylist. “It wasn’t as much about bashing men as it was empowering women and allowing them to express themselves. I like helping girls out. I wanted to give them an ear and let them know that they’re not alone. Breakups are hard, and it’s horrible when you feel like it’s the worst thing that has ever happened to you.”

“I like helping girls out. I wanted to give them an ear and let them know that they’re not alone.”

The site has since evolved from Men Suck and is now Girl Power Girl Strong, where you’ll find the Ex-Boyfriend List. Alongside the list, it also has articles on a variety of topics, such as relationships, dating, and careers. It’s a distinctly feminist website, offering a feeling of togetherness and providing a space for women to vent their bad experiences. However, the site has come under a lot of criticism. 

The Problem with the Ex-Boyfriend List

Although the site has received positive feedback from women, many men believe the site goes too far. It’s completely obvious what could happen – a jealous ex-girlfriend wanting revenge could easily give her undeserving ex-boyfriend a dreadful review on the site, warning all women off him. Then, there’s also the issue of safety and privacy – will the men featured be harassed, potentially for something they didn’t do?

Luckily, the site has rules, such as only the man’s name, age, city, and state can be listed; no phone numbers, emails, or home addresses are allowed. The site also states: “No false information is allowed. Talk about what your ex-boyfriend did to you but don’t make up lies. Come on, you are better than that.” Of course, this stipulation completely relies on the honesty of the list’s contributors and could easily be abused. 

Interestingly, the site has received more complaints from the current girlfriends of the men listed. Tegan says she rarely hears from the men themselves, but their girlfriends will ask for her to take down the post about their boyfriend. Moreso, the site allows ex-boyfriends to respond, and she encourages these men to reply to any posts they don’t agree with, but none have.

Has the Ex-Boyfriend List Helped Anyone?

In her interview with Stylist, Tegan details some great feedback she received from one woman. “We have had someone contact us and thank us because she found her boyfriend at the time had been reported to the site by a previous partner for taking photos of her while she slept…So she’d been alerted to his behavior by another woman through the database.”

Unless you’re one of the lucky ones, everyone has a bad ex-boyfriend story. 

In this instance, at least, the site has done what it set out to do: warn women of dangerous men so they don’t suffer a similar experience. However, it’s interesting that this woman felt the need to check up on her then-boyfriend to see if he was on the site. Perhaps something within her must have known something was off – an instinct she wasn’t quite trusting. If we all were to trust ourselves and our gut instincts a little more, would we walk away from these kinds of guys before it turns really bad? And if we were to do that, would there be much need for a site like this in the first place?

Closing Thoughts

Unless you’re one of the lucky ones, everyone has a bad ex-boyfriend story. And it’s no wonder. Navigating the dating world is more difficult than it ever has been. Not only do we have to worry about the right number of texts to send, but we have to compete with what feels like the whole world. And, to add more pressure to that, the dating realm feels devoid of true gentlemen. This site is trying to help women in that respect, offering a feeling of togetherness among women and ensuring they waste as little time as possible with undeserving men.

Heartbreak can be excruciating, even when the guy has treated you badly. And while venting is healthy, posting these feelings online and marking your ex’s name, city, and state (unless this man has acted truly criminally) errs more on the side of revenge than helping other women. Instead, it may be better for us to choose to educate women on the signs to look out for, encourage women to trust their instincts, and empower women to walk away from cruel men when they see the first red flag.

But if you don’t trust your gut and it ends terribly, we all know the best play is to simply move on, keep it classy, and be happy. It’s unlikely adding your ex-boyfriend to this list will have the effect you want it to.

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