Do Right-Wing Men Make Better Husbands And Fathers?

It's 5 a.m., but Kevin Neal, a real estate developer and Chairman of the Republican Party of Palm Beach County, is already up, taking care of his twins while his wife, Laura, remains on bed rest due to hyperemesis gravidarum. Remarkably, she is pregnant again with another set of twins. He's the one to take Laura to her doctor’s visits, ensuring she stays hydrated with IVs and providing for her in every way possible during both pregnancies.

Despite the chaos of a child always crying and the house being in constant turmoil, Neal is tending to his family 24/7. He takes on the night feedings for their younger twins, James and Jackson, and hasn’t slept more than three or four hours at a time in over three months since their birth in November. But through the sleepless nights and constant demands, he recognizes these moments are worth it. Sure, the earliest stages of a child’s life are challenging and fleeting, but they're also beautiful and rewarding. “The stages that children are in, they’re only in those stages for a little while,” he reflects.

"And we know that down the road, it will be very rewarding. Actually, it's rewarding now, and it will be in the future," Neal tells me.

Neal's traditional beliefs about family values drive him to be a hands-on dad and problem solver. While this kind of masculine approach to being a provider is rooted in conservatism, Neal still breaks away from the stereotypes seen in movements like MGTOW, where men are expected to provide financially but leave domestic responsibilities to women. 

On TikTok, you'll see various types of women making content about their male partners: There's the meme about the "gay tote-bag-carrying boyfriend," mustachioed men with bucket hats and baggy jeans who come across as liberal. Of course, some women do indeed prefer them, but there are millions of women looking for a provider who embodies traditional qualities. Not in a financial sense – but in every way possible: as a father, a husband, a leader, a friend, and a supporter. “Providing can take on many forms. It's not just paying for dinner,” Neal explains. “It’s also stepping up when your partner needs you, like when she’s sick or pregnant.”

We know that our values, beliefs, and outlook on life determine our attitude and behavior, as well as how we approach any situation. This begs the question: Do right-leaning men like Kevin Neal make better partners and fathers?

Why Do Progressive Women Desire Traditional Men?

Gwen Stefani is a blonde grunge icon and an ally of the LGBTQ+ community. Despite her seemingly liberal stance, she married country star Blake Shelton. Described as an “old-school gentleman,” he makes the "Hollaback Girl" singer "feel safe." Stefani said, "You can lean on him and trust him." Shelton also asked Stefani's father for his blessing and proposed to her at a Catholic wedding chapel he built in Oklahoma for his bride. Again, why is it that even liberal women seem to gravitate towards more traditional men? 

Neal's wife, Laura Jacobs, is a renowned matchmaker. Interestingly, while her female clients might say they’re seeking liberal men, their ideal partner descriptions often reveal a preference for traditionally conservative qualities.

Likewise, writer Melanie Notkin wrote a piece in the New York Post titled, "Why progressive women want to date men who act like conservatives." She tells the story of her friend Mark, a catch by NYC standards. He's handsome, educated, and is a talented photographer. He's progressive – you'll find him in protests or giving money to left-leaning organizations. Mark wants to get married and have children. Despite all of these glowing things about him, he's still single. 

“I’m really open-minded and cool about gender stuff on dates, but I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells,” Mark told Notkin. “If I pay for dinner, it signals I don’t value my date as my equal, so I’m super casual about it all. If she wants to pay or split it or whatever, that’s fine with me.”

But Notkin argues that his dating style could be holding him back. She informs him about women's longing for chivalry and their desire to feel wanted, needed, and taken care of. 

This year, the popular dating app Bumble finally added a new feature for men to have the ability to reach out to women first, a departure from its “Women make the first move” trait. This change came after Bumble's female user base expressed exhaustion from always having to initiate contact. They wanted men to take the lead; it felt manly and chivalrous. And, quite frankly, it feels good to be chased.

Notkin goes on to explain how this almost innate desire to feel protected and looked after is built into our DNA. “It’s a mismatch between what progressive women say they want and what they actually respond to,” Geoffrey Miller, a University of New Mexico professor, told her. “Women’s instinctive mate preferences have evolved for hundreds of thousands of years for guys who are competent, strong, good providers, good protectors and happy with a sexual division of labor.” 

The reporter also spoke to a 45-year-old woman named Kari, a fundraising executive and self-described “feminist” who only dates conservative men. (She does draw the line at “conspiracy theorists,” though.) She’s swiping right on Tinder profiles of men who embody more traditional dating behaviors. “It’s a good indicator that there’s a shared mindset,” she said.

In a TikTok post, a woman (@ms_petch) opened up about her dating struggles, sharing what she calls "one of the saddest realizations" she's faced. As a liberal woman, she struggled to find progressive men willing to embrace traditional masculine roles, as simple as paying for the first date and opening doors. Most of the chivalrous men, she said, were conservative. “As a liberal woman, it is really hard to find a man who's willing to play the more traditional masculine role in the relationship in today's day and age who is not a conservative," she admitted in her video.

She craves a partner with masculine traits who also respects her independence and autonomy. She wants to steer clear of the conventional homemaker role. Yet, she notices that the guys she meets who fit this traditional mold tend to be conservative.

The Data on Relationships and Conservatism

A 2023 Pew Research survey reveals some striking differences in how Republican and Democratic men perceive masculinity. 39% of Republican men describe themselves as very masculine, while only 23% of their Democratic counterparts did. Additionally, 78% of Republicans believe masculinity is a positive attribute for society, while only 49% of Democrats share that same sentiment. Case in point: Most conservative men value masculinity much more than liberal men. 

Further supporting this notion, another study published on ScienceDirect examined U.S. participants from four unique samples and how people perceive the political beliefs of men who vary in physical strength and musculature. Strong men were consistently seen as more conservative by others, and this perception extended to social issues (like moral values and family) or fiscal matters (policies regarding taxation and the economy). 

Masculine men are also more likely to be in happy, healthy marriages. Data collected in the March 2021 U.S. Adult Sexual Behaviors and Attitudes survey and interpreted by the Institute for Family Studies (IFS) concluded that men who considered themselves “masculine” or “very masculine” reported “more stable and resourced life outcomes, including higher income and education, a healthier weight, greater religiosity, and increased general happiness and life satisfaction.”

When we look at conservatism's core values, the prevalence of masculinity becomes clearer. Conservatives foster a belief in strength and leadership that's growing increasingly rare. "I think to really embrace and take on that role as the masculine provider – whether it's for your partner, your children, or both – there's a very strong masculine trait in a traditional sense that has been somewhat lost over the years," Neal says.

But don't conservative men just want women to clean, cook, and have as many babies as possible while they do nothing? Not exactly. That's a misconception that has gone on for far too long. "A lot of my friends are husbands and fathers and conservative, and they're very involved with their families, they have great relationships with their partners, they are very involved in taking care of their kids," Neal adds. "It's not like they expect the woman to take care of everything; they're very involved, and a lot of good friends who fall in that category. They're great husbands and fathers."

Lastly, the discourse on dating that gets reduced to "who pays for what" underscores an important conversation about what it means to be a committed and loving man today. It's more than just covering the costs of a night out at Nobu or the nails, hair, and other luxuries. Being a traditional man means providing in many other ways out of love, ensuring a happy marriage where the wife can fully embrace her feminine side and flourish. As Neal beautifully puts it, "I believe that the masculine role is something that men should really embrace. In general, many conservative men do embrace this role, which allows women to embrace and get into their feminine energy, relax, and let their partner lead and provide."

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