Comfort Culture Is Making Us Weaker

Modernity has gifted this generation more creature comforts in daily life than any generation in human history. Smartphones allow food delivery, endless information, shopping for anything and everything, and instant communication, all only a tap away. Simple chores such as grocery shopping no longer require people to even leave their homes. Any necessity can be at one’s doorstep with same-day delivery. Effort has been replaced with convenience, and the threshold for inconvenience has been lowered and lowered.

This past year, I trained for the New York City Marathon. One day after a run, I was speaking to a friend about my most recent run in my training cycle. It was 16 miles; longer than I had ever run before. She asked me if I enjoyed the run and if I was enjoying the marathon training overall, and when I laughed and said, “absolutely not,” she seemed taken aback. My friend then asked me a question that stuck with me. She asked, “Then why are you doing it?” Immediately I answered, “Because that’s not the point.”

I was never a runner. In fact, I always hated running. Before I started training for the marathon, I had never run a mile without stopping for breaks. A marathon was something I never imagined myself completing, but when my favorite charity informed me they had spots open for the NYC marathon, I jumped on the opportunity. Training for and completing a marathon wasn’t about having fun or experiencing constant enjoyment; it was instead about setting a goal and achieving it. The road to achievement was paved with grueling hours, physical and emotional pain, and loads of doubt. The suffering itself was evidence of my progress toward my goal.

Progressivism and modern leftism have touted happiness as their greatest end. Therefore, suffering should be avoided at all costs. In recent years, this has seeped into motherhood as well, with phrases like “Fed is best” repeated ad nauseam to excuse women from the challenge of breastfeeding. When pushed on the idea of breastfeeding as a superior choice, many leftist women respond with something like “don’t judge” or “mom’s happiness matters too.” While on the surface these read as sensible statements, if we dig deeper we see the same selfishness and hedonistic nature of most progressive philosophy: individual happiness is all that matters. Many aspects of parenting require sacrifice: sleepless nights, making healthy choices, or avoiding screen time all are harder options than easier alternatives. Parents should understand that sacrificing immediate pleasures for ourselves results in better outcomes for our children. If we can’t suffer for our children, who can we suffer for?

Effort has been replaced with convenience, and the threshold for inconvenience has been lowered and lowered.

With no God to submit to or duties to fulfill, the highest master is the self, and the worship ultimately boils down to “feeling good.” With that philosophy, suffering is the exact opposite of good and should be avoided at all costs. Even the feminism held by many progressives revolves around avoidance of suffering. Leftist women want equality in the spaces they want to be in, such as the “girl boss” office jobs, but turn their noses to the dangerous, grueling jobs like sewage maintenance or roofing. In other words, they seek the greatest rewards while demanding the least suffering.

This aversion to suffering goes as far as avoiding simple discomforts. Many even encourage people to cut off their family before having a dissenting discussion that may “trigger” them. The policing of language to be “politically correct” and proper pronoun use is important to enforce since in a leftist’s world, it's worse to hurt one’s feelings than to sacrifice truthfulness. Again, this concept reads well on its surface: who would want to hurt others when they could instead make someone feel “seen” or “validated”? What they get wrong is that pursuing the surface-level wins robs them of the deeper ones. Sitting in discomfort, confronting your cognitive dissonance, and challenging one’s dogmatic beliefs is hard, but it’s all for a greater good. Holding informed opinions, living in truth, and true peace all exist on the other side of suffering. Growth rarely occurs when living in constant comfort.

Most things in life worth having require enduring what is challenging.

Suffering is not good because physical and mental pain is good in and of itself. It's valuable because it's often the price paid in order to obtain what's worth having. Courage does not come without fear; strength does not come without sweat. No athlete enjoys every workout, no parent enjoys sleep deprivation, and no saint enjoys every sacrifice. Yet most things in life worth having require enduring what is challenging.

Humans can and should do hard things. Some of the best human achievements and most profound truths have been discovered after intense suffering. To avoid suffering is to refuse the price every worthwhile thing demands.

We could give up telling the truth in order to placate people’s feelings, but we would be robbing them of the opportunity to truly know themselves. We could validate every decision a parent makes instead of challenging them to make real sacrifices for their children, but we would be raising generations less capable of resilience. We could tell women they have no duties to society, but we would be stealing their highest calling from them. I could give up the training runs in exchange for Netflix and ordering takeout at the expense of crossing the finish line.