Can We Please Stop Telling Women Pregnancy Ruins Their Bodies?

Many women fear all the ways that pregnancy will change their bodies. It’s a perfectly normal concern, and there’s nothing wrong with contemplating it. But it feels like we live in a time when the whole world capitalizes on that fear and does everything it can to enlarge it.

Whether you’re scrolling through social media or watching a new TV show, there always seems to be a disgruntled, jaded mom who thoroughly enjoys complaining about all the ways that her body has been “ruined” by pregnancy. It has turned from an understandable dose of anxiety into an avalanche of fears being dropped into women’s laps 24/7.

As a mother of two who loves to work out and be active, I’ll admit I was also scared that pregnancy and birth would wreck my figure (it did no such thing!). It’s okay to feel nervous about it—it’s just a part of the female experience. And it’s also okay to talk about it with other women in a healthy way, especially other women who have been there. However, it seems like those healthy conversations are few and far between these days.

A viral debate emerged on X when @LindyTasteful wrote, “I've had multiple women in NYC tell me they don't want to get pregnant because they're afraid of what it will do to their body. Much more common fear now.” Hundreds of comments flooded in, many of them affirming the fear that pregnancy ruins your body. “idk why everyone's pinning this on women’s fears of being fat instead of idk, the possibility of developing psychosis, of losing teeth, of losing hair, of bleeding out suddenly, etc. pregnancy is way more than weight gain, the health complications can be serious,” one user responded.

According to RFH, the real reason that women are choosing not to have children is because men don’t want anything to do with them after they give birth.

Pregnancy is one of the most remarkable biological transformations a human body can experience. From the moment of conception, a woman’s body begins orchestrating an intricate symphony of physical, hormonal, and structural changes designed to support new life. The uterus expands from the size of a pear to nearly the size of a watermelon, making room for the growing baby. Blood volume increases by up to 50%, ensuring that both mother and baby receive enough oxygen and nutrients. The heart works harder, pumping faster and stronger, while blood vessels relax to accommodate the increased flow—a true feat of cardiovascular adaptability. Hormones surge and shift constantly, acting as powerful chemical messengers. Progesterone relaxes muscles and ligaments, while relaxin softens joints and connective tissue to prepare the pelvis for birth. Estrogen levels soar, stimulating breast tissue growth and enhancing the skin’s glow through increased blood circulation. The placenta, a temporary yet extraordinary organ, takes over hormone production and acts as a lifeline between mother and child. Even the brain changes; research shows that gray matter in regions tied to empathy, emotional regulation, and attachment increases, essentially rewiring the maternal brain to bond with and protect the baby.

After birth, the body begins another metamorphosis. The uterus contracts back to its original size, milk ducts activate for breastfeeding, and hormones recalibrate, often heightening emotional sensitivity and intuition. Many of these adaptations—like enhanced multitasking ability, refined sensory awareness, and emotional depth—can remain for life. Far from being merely “recovered,” the post-pregnancy body is a testament to resilience and intelligence. Every cell, hormone, and organ system has played a role in the miraculous process of creating and sustaining new life; a living example of the profound adaptability and strength unique to the female body.

But none of this is even considered in the conversation of postpartum bodies, especially not on X. Then things took a turn for the weirder when an account known as RFH (“radical feminist Hitler”) responded with, “That’s because men are disgusted by postpartum bodies.” According to RFH, the real reason that women are choosing not to have children is because men don’t want anything to do with them after they give birth.

This claim is demeaning to both women and men. Firstly, it positions a woman’s approach to pregnancy, birth, and postpartum as primarily based on men’s perceptions of us. For someone who claims to be a feminist, it's incredibly insulting at best to declare that women’s first concern in the discussion of pregnancy is whether men are attracted to them, and it’s important to note here that it’s men in general, not a woman’s husband. RFH claims that women are so downtrodden by the mere idea that men in general (not their husband) will no longer find their postpartum body attractive that they refuse to become pregnant. This paints women as these incredibly shallow, boy-crazy individuals who are superficial enough to base their pregnancy and motherhood decisions on whether some random guys on the street think they look hot.

Secondly, this claim hinges on the idea that men are nothing more than bloodthirsty animals who are only concerned with sexual attraction and only see women as objects to conquer rather than whole human beings, wives, and/or mothers who bring meaning to the world. Of course, this is not surprising considering the fact that RFH has built an entire X profile off of bashing men and making broad generalizations about them based on a minority of bad apples (which exist amongst both genders). There are plenty of good-hearted men who love their wives for who they are, and they embrace their wives’ changing bodies that carry the full experiences of pregnancy and childbirth. We need to stop scaring women into believing that all men are pigs who will toss you away as soon as you gain a few pounds. Of course, there are men out there who don’t deserve you, but just because some are rotten doesn’t mean they all are.

It’s also entirely unhelpful to tell women that their concerns about postpartum transformations are actually the fault of men. Rather than shift the blame to someone else, it’s much healthier to acknowledge that many women who are not yet mothers will have concerns about all the ways their bodies will change after having a baby. Instead of denying these fears or discounting them as nothing more than vain fodder, we should have an open conversation about what could possibly change after pregnancy and birth, and all the ways that we can prepare our bodies for it rather than just sit around and be scared of it.

We need to stop scaring women into believing that all men are pigs who will toss you away as soon as you gain a few pounds.

The postpartum period is one of the most transformative, and vulnerable, times in a woman’s life. During this phase, a husband’s presence and active involvement can make an extraordinary difference in how fully and gracefully she recovers. Research consistently shows that when fathers are engaged and supportive, mothers experience better mental and physical health outcomes. A study published in BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth found that women with emotionally and practically supportive partners had significantly lower rates of postpartum depression. Similarly, research in the Journal of Obstetric, Gynecologic & Neonatal Nursing reported faster physical recovery, reduced fatigue, and stronger bonding when fathers participated in infant care and household responsibilities.

Support can take many forms: handling nighttime diaper changes, preparing nutritious meals that aid recovery, or ensuring she has uninterrupted rest. Emotional support—listening without judgment, affirming her effort, and helping her feel seen—can be just as powerful as practical help. Husbands can also encourage her to attend postpartum checkups, nourish her body with whole foods and hydration, and take walks together to gently reintroduce movement.

Perhaps most importantly, the presence of a loving, hands-on partner signals to the mother’s nervous system that she’s safe and not alone; an essential condition for healing. This sense of safety lowers cortisol, stabilizes mood, and allows oxytocin, the “bonding hormone,” to flow freely, strengthening both their relationship and their connection to the baby.

Postpartum recovery isn’t just a woman’s journey; it’s a family transition. When a husband shows up with patience, tenderness, and practical support, he becomes an integral part of her healing—helping her rebuild not just her body, but her sense of wholeness and confidence as a mother. And when a mother feels supported physically and emotionally, she is much more likely to feel healthy and reach a place of confidence in the way she looks and feels. Plenty of husbands understand that and are anything but disgusted by their wives’ postpartum bodies, and if you’re still single, there’s nothing wrong with looking for a man who will meet that expectation.