Alex Clark Spills The Tea On Her Engagement, Love Story, And Wedding Plans

"It genuinely feels like a story I couldn't have written myself," Alex says. "Looking backward, you can see God weaving together details long before either of us realized it."

How It Started

"This is actually a crazy story," Alex says. "For years, multiple people in my life whom I deeply respect, people like Katy Faust and Samuel Sey and his wife, kept telling me they had the perfect guy for me. The funny part is that none of them really knew each other, yet they were all independently trying to set me up with the same person. But every time they brought it up, I was either dating someone else, busy, or just not interested in being set up. Sorry, Sam and Katy."

Then last fall, Vance mentioned her in his Substack, Running on Butter, writing that Alex was a health and wellness podcaster he really admired, "and would love to take out on a date."

Yet again, the article was forwarded to Alex by multiple people. She thought it was cute and funny, but she was not (she is very clear about this) looking to date anyone at the time. She had just gotten out of the worst relationship of her life, and her friend and mentor Charlie Kirk had been murdered. It had been a very dark season.

But she still jokingly posted his Substack line to her Instagram Story with a caption: "If anyone knows this butter guy, tell him this was cute."

"That was genuinely all I meant by it. I didn't know who he was. I didn't know where he lived. I didn't know anything about him."

Her phone exploded.

"Katy texted me. Sam's wife texted me. Both basically said, 'YOU IDIOT. THIS IS THE GUY WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO SET YOU UP WITH FOR TWO YEARS,'" Alex laughs. Then came the DMs, roughly 75 of them, all some version of: I know him and his family, they're the greatest people ever, he would be your dream guy. And apparently, one of his sisters used to watch POPlitics and would tell him all the time that they would either be best friends or a perfect match.

Eventually, Vance got her number. His opening line?

"You heard me calling from my megaphone. It's about time. I've been waiting for this date for two years."

Falling, Carefully

Alex will tell you she was cautious, and she had good reasons to be. She was still carrying a heavy heartbreak when they met, and she wasn't about to let the excitement of something new cloud her judgment.

Unsurprisingly, their first date was a smashing success, covering homebirth and theology, music theory and politics. She told him at the end of the night: "You're the most interesting person I've ever met. I love how smart you are."

He saw those parts of me as gifts.

What struck her from the beginning was how little she had to explain herself. "From the very beginning, I never felt like I had to shrink myself. I could tell immediately that he was curious, thoughtful, and genuinely interested in ideas." The things that had caused friction in previous relationships, her personality, her convictions, her passion for health and wellness, her intensity, were the very things Vance appreciated most. "He never tried to tone me down or make me more palatable. He saw those parts of me as gifts."

Still, though, she was hesitant. Her feelings were growing, but she wanted to make sure she was genuinely falling in love and not just reaching for comfort during a hard season.

What finally settled it was Christmas. She went home with him for the holidays, spent time with his family, and watched him with the people closest to him. It was a story his grandmother told her that sealed it: one day, when all the boys were running around outside too excited to notice their grandmother had arrived, a young Vance came right up to her, glasses slipping halfway down his face, and said, "Grandma, tell me what all you did today."

"That story tells you everything you need to know about him," Alex says.

He is also, for the record, a champion violinist and fiddle player, classically trained on piano, a green thumb, one of the best cooks she knows, and an incredible writer who can hold a conversation about theology, health, history, and literature for hours before casually winning his heat at a Hyrox competition and making it look easy. "He's completely unassuming about all of it. He never leads with his accomplishments. He's always more interested in other people."

And then there was the moment she saw him with kids. "The first time he met my best friends and their kids, the house was loud and chaotic, and he was completely unfazed. He was helping kids wash their hands, tying shoes, fixing plates, and jumping right into the madness. Having 39 nieces and nephews will teach you a thing or two."

What Alex Clark Was Looking For

Alex says what she was really looking for, more than any checklist item, was a man who embodied the fruits of the Spirit. She wanted a man who was actively being discipled and discipling others and who understood what spiritual leadership actually looked like. "I've always hoped, God willing, to have a big family. And when you're talking about raising children, you're talking about being entrusted with little souls. That's an enormous responsibility." That meant finding someone who felt genuinely called to fatherhood. "I prayed for a husband who wouldn't simply tolerate fatherhood, but who felt genuinely called to it. Someone who was excited about being a husband and a dad."

"What impressed me even more was that he had spent his season of singleness preparing for marriage and fatherhood the same way I had. He wasn't waiting until someday. He was intentionally learning and growing before those responsibilities ever arrived."

There was also something she didn't fully realize she was looking for until she found it. "One quality I didn't fully realize I was looking for until I found it was emotional protection. Of course, I wanted someone who could protect me physically, and at over 6'0" and jacked, he definitely has that covered, but Vance is equally concerned with what is affecting my mind and spirit. He's often the person reminding me to step away from my phone, get outside, read Scripture, listen to beautiful music, and refocus on what actually matters. Sometimes he'll just play me something on the piano himself and I can just close my eyes and be present. He pays attention to the condition of my heart. That's one of the greatest gifts he's given me."

People are always surprised to learn that, despite her very public career, Alex can be a total homebody left to her own devices. "Vance is the opposite. He pulls me into adventure and reminds me there's a big world outside my routine."

"I've never met anyone with such a deep commitment to his faith, such strong relationships with his family, or with such a healthy community around him," she says. "From the beginning, I was welcomed into a world of people who genuinely love God, love each other, and take discipleship seriously. For the first time, I felt completely free to be myself without fear of being misunderstood or judged."

"The best way I can describe it is this: he loves me in a way that consistently points me back to how Christ loves His people. And once you've experienced that kind of love, it's very hard to settle for anything less. What a blessing I never have to."

When she got on the plane home after Christmas, she finally leaned over and whispered, "I love you" in his ear. She says he was so excited she thought he was going to accidentally open the emergency exit door.

The Proposal

They were in Seattle for his brother's wedding. The morning after the celebration, Vance told her they were going to "mouse around" the city, her term for wandering with no real agenda, and visit some of his favorite spots since he's from Washington. The plan sounded great, but that morning Alex texted him: "I look like a monster."

She is apparently allergic to something in Washington state, and as she puts it, "every single time I visit, if I'm not hyper-vigilant about antihistamines, I have some kind of allergic reaction." Her eye was completely swollen. She was running late, trying to get eyeliner onto one swollen eyelid and one normal one, on a cool, drizzly Seattle morning. Nevertheless, she made it work.

"It was a cool, cloudy Seattle day with a little drizzle. Eventually we ended up walking along Alki Beach. At one point he said, 'This is a cute spot. Why don't you look out at the water and I'll take a picture from behind?' So I turned around. And when I turned back, he was on one knee."

"I immediately started jumping backward and up and down at the same time and just kept yelling, 'No way! No way! No way!' We were both smiling and laughing. It was the greatest surprise of my life."

The first call went to her mom, who had known it was happening that day and had apparently been crying all morning before the phone even rang. Then friends met them out, and they headed back to his parents' house, where his siblings, their families, and mutual friend Katy Faust were waiting with a toast. They sang "For They're a Jolly Good Couple."

Alex's reaction upon walking in?

"I jumped up and down and said, 'I'm gonna be a Voetberg!!!!'"

The Wedding

Alex can be very decisive, which is a good quality to have right now because she and Vance want to get married soon.

Her aesthetic inspiration is Gianfranco Ferré's Dior era, 1989 to 1996. "Think European aristocrats getting married at a château in 1991. That's what I'm going for. I am so tired of seeing the same wedding look over and over again. The half-up, half-down hairstyle. The fit-and-flare dress. So many brides look copy-and-pasted. It's beautiful, but it doesn't feel like me." Her goal is a wedding dress that, thirty years from now, someone could look at in a photograph and immediately know it was hers. "I don't want to look trendy. I want to look like I stepped out of a forgotten society wedding from another era."

As for the actual dress, the story is almost too good. "I had a TikTok of a random vintage wedding dress that someone thrifted that I was obsessed with. It was the inspo I was using and I was trying to find any dress I could that came remotely close and nothing being made in stores now seems to come close. Then I came across that dress via reverse image search on a buy sell trade site in some random state. I was SCREAMING and couldn't believe the price. I bought it immediately. It's about 3 sizes too big but nothing some alterations can't fix." 

Not every part of wedding planning has felt like a steal, though. "Do you know how much wedding veils cost? Like what do you MEAN this is $4,000!!!!"

On trends, she's not against the burgundy-and-chartreuse color moment everyone is doing this year. She is firmly, non-negotiably against dancing receptions. "There will be no dancing at my wedding. Please, let's eat and talk and catch up. Then I want to go to bed on time."

And we had to ask: what does she think Taylor Swift would wear to her own wedding?

"If I had to guess, I'd say Vivienne Westwood or Oscar de la Renta. Vivienne Westwood feels like the strongest contender because Taylor has clearly gravitated toward corsetry and that romantic, feminine silhouette over the last several years. There's something about Westwood that feels both classic and theatrical, which fits her perfectly."

The honeymoon is still in motion. Current top contenders: Greece and the Cotswolds. 

What Comes After

Beyond the dress and the flowers, Alex says what she's most excited about has little to do with the wedding day itself.

"The way marriage becomes a tool God uses to sanctify you. I've heard John Piper say that marriage is designed to make us holy more than it is designed to make us happy, and that idea has always stuck with me. Not because marriage isn't joyful, but because living in covenant with another person exposes your selfishness, teaches you how to serve, and continually calls you to love in ways that reflect Christ. The ordinary faithfulness of sharing a life with someone seems far more meaningful to me than a single wedding day."

She wants to build what she calls a "Sally Clarkson home," filled with art, music, books, candlelight, shared meals, color, and a lot of laughter. A place where beauty is woven into everyday life and conversations linger around the dinner table long after dinner is over. "One of the things that amazed me when I met Vance is that he actually grew up in a home like that. The first time I heard him describe his childhood, I looked at him and said, 'You had a Sally Clarkson childhood.'" 

"Neither of us wants our home to feel rushed, disconnected, or centered around screens," Alex explains. "We want it to be a place where people gather, where children are known and loved, where beauty and truth are celebrated, there's only real food to eat and where faith is lived out in ordinary daily rhythms."

Vance’s family of ten children produced not one sibling who has deconstructed their faith. All of them have large families, are homeschooling and homebirthing, and are living what Alex affectionately calls "the ideal MAHA life." At one point, Oprah and TLC both wanted to do a show on his family, and they said no every time. 

“Maybe one day his mom will grant me the interview Oprah couldn't get!”  

Worth the Wait

Alex spent years wondering why the story wasn't happening for her. She prayed about it, wrestled with it, and watched other people's timelines and tried not to compare. Then, while she was in one of the darkest seasons of her life, a man she had never met put her name in a butter-themed newsletter and said he wanted to take her on a date.

"Looking back now, it's one of my favorite reminders that God's timing is rarely our timing. For years I kept wondering why the story wasn't happening. Meanwhile, apparently my future husband had been trying to get a date with me for two years." 

Think Travis Kelce publicly shooting his shot with Taylor Swift and somehow making it work. Vance did the same thing, and the parallel is not lost on Alex. “The funny thing is that he actually appreciates Taylor Swift almost as much as I do."

And after the wedding, what comes next?

"Hopefully a baby bump!"

Her answer perfectly captures what excites her most about this season, which is not just the wedding day itself, but the whole life that follows: a husband, a home, children, shared purpose, and the chance to spend decades becoming more like Christ together.