8 Truths About Basic Attraction

Remember that girl from high school or college that all the guys had a thing for? Maybe she was the popular, pretty cheerleader, or maybe she was the quiet, enigmatic, singer-songwriter girl, or maybe she was the classic, chill guy’s girl that knew how to hold her own in a big crew of guy-only friends (all of whom had a huge crush on her). 

Whoever she was, you often found yourself wondering why every guy she came across seemed to fall hopelessly in love with her – often, seemingly without her doing anything specific or calculated. What was it about her that elicited such a reaction in all the guys? Was it something totally ineffable, or was it something you yourself could emulate?

While attraction isn’t something that can always be controlled or forced, there are indeed a few ways you can make yourself more attractive, more likely to catch his eye and get him interested in knowing you.

Here are eight truths about attraction that you might not know.

Give Him Your Attention

It’s more than likely that you’ve been advised to play hard to get in order to get a guy interested in you. This might include pretending not to notice him, offering him no more attention than you would any other guy, and acting cool as a cucumber around him. But is that really the best way of attracting someone?

While playing hard to get might work for some, it turns out that offering a guy your full, undivided attention is much more attractive than flat-out ignoring him. This certainly doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ever play it cool, but that if you’re hoping to up a guy’s attraction to you, there’s nothing quite as attractive as a woman who cares about what he’s saying. He’ll immediately like how important you make him feel.

Take Note of Your and His Body Language

While we rely quite a bit on spoken language, words are hardly our only way of communicating what we’re feeling and thinking. Our bodies actually give away more than we’ll ever realize. So when it comes to understanding how attraction works, it’s imperative to take body language into account.

When we’re physically attracted to someone, we’ll naturally angle our body toward them without even noticing. Not just that, but when someone mirrors our body language, we’ll feel more connected to them. So the next time you’re around the guy you’ve got your eye on, take note of his body language, and see if you can loosely mirror it (without straight up copying his every move, of course).

Spritz Yourself with Something Nice

There are a few things that instantly come to mind for us when we think about the best way to present ourselves to our crush. First, we put together an outfit that will flatter our body type – and one that he’ll like, of course. Then, we spend an hour doing our hair and makeup, tweaking it until we’ve got it just right and we feel like a million bucks.

But what about our scent? While someone’s scent is something that takes a bit more time to assess than their physical appearance, the way we smell is arguably just as important as the way we look. In fact, our body odor is incredibly influential when it comes to whether or not we’re attracted to someone. So be sure to give yourself an extra spritz or two of something nice before you seem him next.

Laugh at His Jokes (Even If They’re Just Okay)

This tip has much less to do with you, and much more to do with him. But there are few things as charming as a good sense of humor. And what do men consider to be a good sense of humor? Well, a woman who thinks he’s funny, and lets him know it.

While women are typically more attracted to a man who can make them laugh, men are often more drawn to women who laugh at their jokes. So the next time the guy you’ve got a thing for cracks a joke, give him a big, hearty laugh – yes, even if his joke was just okay. He’ll instantly find you all the more enticing.

Have Good Posture

We’re back to talking about physical appearance, because as much as having a good sense of humor helps, the way we present ourselves has quite a bit of influence when it comes to whether or not we’re immediately perceived as attractive.

One simple way to instantly up your game? Standing up tall and straight. Good posture exudes confidence and poise, and is undeniably physically appealing. Without letting yourself get too stiff, push your shoulders back and imagine you have a string coming out from the top of your head, pulling you up, and making you feel weightless.

Hold His Gaze

They say eyes are the window to the soul for a reason, right? Similar to our body, our eyes communicate a million things our mouths never could or never would. This is what makes holding eye contact paramount in creating an air of attraction between you and the guy you’ve got your eye on. In fact, eye contact is thought to release a hormone called phenylethylamine, which creates feelings of attraction.

The next time you’ve got the pleasure of talking with your crush, as tempting as it is to avert your eyes the moment he meets yours (what if he somehow reads your mind?!), see if you can hold his gaze. Obviously, there’s a fine line between staring a little too intensely and holding just the right amount of eye contact, so use your best judgment here.

Be Willing To Poke Fun at Yourself

Yes, it’s true – someone who’s willing to laugh at themselves is undoubtedly more attractive than someone who seems like they’ll get easily offended, overly defensive, or super sensitive at even the suggestion of a joke. Who wants to feel like they’re walking on eggshells?

Without dipping too far into self-deprecation (which can be equally as unattractive as over-sensitivity), be willing to take a joke and lightheartedly poke fun at yourself. Laughing at yourself will actually come across as an irresistible confidence that will make you all the more attractive.

Speak in a Higher Register

Sure, it’s helpful to think of a variety of witticisms before you see him, but sometimes, it’s not about the things you’re saying, but the way you’re saying them. When it comes to attraction, women tend to find men who speak in lower registers more attractive, while men often perceive women who speak in higher registers as more enticing.

To all the ladies with deeper speaking voices, this certainly doesn’t mean you should force your voice to speak at a register that isn’t natural to you, just at the top of whatever is natural for you. It’ll happen without effort – when you find yourself attracted to a man, your voice will wander just a bit higher than normal.

Closing Thoughts

While attraction isn’t something that can truly be controlled, forced, or coerced, and much of what we find attractive isn’t conscious, there are a few tricks to keep up your sleeve and try out the next time you’re hoping to get a certain guy’s attention.

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