6 Life Lessons I Learned From Maye Musk’s Book, “A Woman Makes a Plan: Advice for a Lifetime of Adventure, Beauty, and Success”

In her autobiography, Maye walks the reader through her life with an honest and charitable attitude, humbly admitting what went wrong and celebrating everything that went right. The continuous theme throughout her book is the importance of having a plan and to not fear uncertainties, or at least, don’t let that fear stop you. While grounded on the importance of planning, Maye is not a control freak and her life is filled with incredible surprises, unexpected adventures, and a lot of joy. 

So, what were my main takeaways? Let’s get into the 6 life lessons I learned from Maye Musk’s book, “A Woman Makes a Plan: Advice for a Lifetime of Adventure, Beauty, and Success.”

1. Always Explore

Maye’s childhood was filled with adventure. At a fairly young age, her parents moved from Canada to South Africa where they often went on vacation to explore the Kalahari desert. She talks about the long and even dangerous journey in which they depended on translators to interact with tribes and were armed to protect themselves from animals. She even shares a particular experience in which they were approached by a lion while they were sleeping, even though the guide had insisted that if they stayed by the fire, animals would not approach them.

Her father, Joshua Haldeman, had an airplane and flew the family around to visit new destinations constantly. They traveled throughout Africa, Asia, and even made it to Australia. Maye even mentions how they went on adventures looking for The Lost City of Kalahari. She writes about how these trips were made possible not only by planning for everything they would need from gas to water and food, but also planning ahead for everything that could go wrong. That meant packing medicine, tools to repair the plane, and everything else they could think of. Given that this was a time before GPS systems, Maye’s father used paper maps and ran his own calculations to get an idea of directions from the air. She shared that sometimes they had to fly low enough over towns to be able to read street signs and confirm that they were on the right path. 

Maye refers back to these adventures many times throughout her book. Undoubtedly, learning how to survive with little and face the uncertainty that comes with all good adventures forged a resiliency that kept her pushing forward in her later years. 

2. Respect Yourself

At the start of her book, Maye talks about her experience facing domestic violence. She speaks about how it began during her honeymoon, the red flags that were present while they were dating, and how she eventually escaped. She shares a memory of a time when her husband started hitting her and her two youngest kids, Tosca and Kimball, ran to a corner in fear, while Elon, her oldest child, punched the back of his dad’s knees in an attempt to defend his mom.

Once the abuse began, as always, Maye made a plan and eventually she got out. For various reasons, Maye could not execute her exit plan as soon as she would’ve wanted, but she prepared herself and when the opportunity arose, she went for it. 

The years that followed were hard, as Maye faced many financial struggles as a single mom of three, but she reminds the reader that it is always better to be poor than to be disrespected. She writes about how tempting it was to go on vacation with the children and their dad as he would treat them to nice places and she would always get invited, but she chose to stay home. These moments became opportunities to flex her own strength and it certainly paid off. 

One of Maye’s last stories in her book is from when she was seated at the lobby of a fancy hotel in New York right after her son Kimball had opened a new restaurant, her daughter Tosca had launched Passionflix, and SpaceX and Tesla had reached the success we associate them with today. She writes that, in that particular moment, she remembered how she had been at that same hotel lobby years before while working on set for a photoshoot. Everyone went to the bar after the photoshoot wrapped, yet she decided to go home because she knew she could not afford the drink. She writes that she did not feel bad for her old self; instead, she felt proud. 

3. The 12 Years-old Rule

Maye is often asked about her parenting skills given that all of her children are highly successful and still very much close with her. To this, she attributes what she calls the 12 years-old rule, which dictates that by 12 a child most likely already has found his or her passion and it is the parents’ responsibility to foster it. She reiterates the fact that all of her children were already doing what they are now known for when they were 12. In the book, she includes a shocking story of when Elon wrote his first computer program at the ripe age of 12. Maye was getting her Masters at the time and she showed it to some engineers at the University she was attending. They told her it was impressive work and that it should be published. Maye sent it to a magazine and, not surprisingly, Elon won an award for it. She concludes the story by saying, “They did not know it was written by a 12 year old.”

Another parenting tip she provides is teaching children to be independent. Maye always worked multiple jobs to keep the lights on and the family afloat, so her children knew that they had to take care of themselves and each other.  She adds to this the importance of children knowing that they can be trusted. Studies back this up, as knowing that one is trusted is a core principle of self-confidence. 

4. Turn Down Fads and Fancy Diets

Maye is a nutritionist by trade and, throughout her book, she harps on the importance of going back to the basics. She shares that she raised her kids on bean soups, peanut butter and jellies and, occasionally, she had enough money to buy a whole chicken and serve it with potatoes. Maye claims she's not an expert cook, but that she doesn't need to be one in order to have a healthy lifestyle. 

As everything in Maye’s world, she emphasizes the importance of having a plan when it comes to nutrition. She stresses that bad food choices are more often made when we don’t have healthy foods available or when we have unhealthy foods too available. Some of her go to rules are:

• The chocolate goes out with the guests. 

• Only eat the dessert if you truly love it.

• Eat 3 apples before eating a cookie.

• Make time for meal prepping. Her go-to meal is bean soup which she makes with the leftover vegetables from the week and packages it in individual servings and defrosts as needed. 

Maye claims that the slim figure she has today is not mere genetics, it is serious work. At one point, Maye was a plus-size model weighing over 200 pounds. In an interview with Mindvalley Talks, she shared that a big reason for this was that she had a fiancé who got another model pregnant and they moved next door to her. The pain of this situation resulted in Maye becoming a plus-size model in the 80s'. In her eternally-positive attitude, Maye adds that plus-size modeling was a big thing at the time, so she didn't necessarily struggle to find work. Regardless, eventually she decided that she needed to do something about her health. She shares that she couldn’t afford a gym membership until her mid-forties, but that she would march or walk in place while watching TV and work out in the living room.

5. Embrace New Technologies

Given her unique situation as the mother of Elon Musk, Maye had the opportunity to be customer "0" for many of the technologies we utilize today. The same sense of adventure she embraced as a child is clearly present in the business adventures she has taken on with her kids. In her book, she recounts a story of when she went to visit Elon and Kimbal as they were working on Zip2, their first major business endeavor. Zip2 is a city guide software and Maye was tasked with using it to move around the city. She quickly found out that the software was efficient in taking her places, but it was very difficult to return. More than once, she had to be picked up by her sons when she could not find her way back. Soon after that, the software was fixed. 

On a more relatable note, Maye talks about her excitement towards Instagram. She shares that she started by posting her modeling photos and, not long after, she was receiving job inquiries via the social media platform. She thanks much of her current modeling and now writer success to the power of social media. This is leaps and bounds away from the nutritionist that once lost clients when her phone was disconnected.

6. Know That You Can Do Well with Little

In the later chapters, Maye discusses her difficulties buying property in Canada due to the fact that she did not have a credit history. While this was frustrating at the time, given that she was excited to finally have the financial means to buy real estate, she decided to continue renting and invest the money she had saved in her son’s first company. Needless to say, this was financially a much better investment than any home could have been. For the first time in her life, Maye truly became a rich woman. 

By the time money came about, Maye had already embraced the idea that she could do well with very little. Thinking back to her childhood adventures in the desert and the time following her divorce when she was supporting three children on bean soup and peanut butter and jellies, Maye knew how to thrive with very little. Near the end of her book, she shared that many of the people close to her admitted that they didn't know she was having such a hard time. The reason being that Maye did not play the victim nor ask for help because she knew she had what she needed and everything else was simply a cherry on top.

Closing Thoughts

Maye Musk’s memoir offers a powerful blend of wisdom, resilience, and practicality, grounded in a life filled with adventures and uncertainty, but always accompanied by a plan. While she admits to not always having it together, she always had what mattered: her children, her sense of worth, and her incredible work ethic. Through her candid reflections, Maye teaches us that true success is not just measured by wealth or fame, but by the ability to find happiness, growth, and meaning with what you have. Ultimately, Maye’s life lessons offer a roadmap to embracing change, making the most of every situation, and living authentically, regardless of age or circumstances.