12 Safety Tips That Could Save Your Life Or Your Purse

One time, when I was transferring trains at a small station in France, I was inside looking at my train time when I saw a sketchy-looking guy in ratty clothes pass by the doorway, stop, look at me, and then creepily start walking toward me. There was no one nearby except out on the platform, which was behind the man, so I quickly grabbed my suitcase and walked fast straight toward the guy (which he definitely didn’t expect because he stopped and looked somewhat shocked). I passed by him, making intense eye contact for a split second (so he’d see I wasn’t afraid of him), then power-walked to the outside platform where I stood near an old couple and a station officer. The guy came out again and stood near me while I waited to board. I boarded my train as he sat rolling a cigarette, staring at my window every once and a while. 

That was the closest I came to a mugging situation, and although my heart was beating out of my chest afterward, I kept my cool (thanks to my self-defense coach).

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Everyday Safety

I always recommend that a woman take self-defense classes if she is traveling. I took Krav Maga classes myself. But at the very least, I think every woman should know some self-defense techniques for everyday life activities such as shopping and getting gas! 

People usually think you have to watch your purse and your safety if you’re traveling to a foreign country, which is definitely true, but people often get mugged walking in their own city, exiting a bank or the grocery store or even the office. One of my self-defense coaches told me to always be alert the minute I stepped foot outside my door.

Theft can happen during daily travel in your local area, and it’s a known fact that most girls who are raped are molested by someone known to them. Children, teens, and young adult women can be raped by a boy or a teacher at school, a strange guy who seemed nice at first, a neighbor, a family friend, or boys at a party – not just by a random guy on the street they had never seen before. Human trafficking is also now at its highest activity. Unfortunately, this is real life in the world we live in. It’s not healthy to succumb to a fear mentality and think you can’t ever go anywhere, but you do need to practice street smarts. There are ways to avoid bad situations and, if need be, defend yourself. 

Feminine Strengths

Did you know female babies’ brains mature faster than male babies’ brains? It’s a scientific fact, not some feminist idea. A person’s sex does impact brain growth. As they grow, girls typically mature faster than boys and are generally thought to be two years ahead in maturity. Women might be more emotional creatures than men, who are bigger and stronger (although there are always exceptions), but generally, women have greater multi-tasking skills. This factor plays into the traditional idea of men being the protectors and providers and women being nurturers who might juggle multiple jobs in raising children at home while running the house and keeping tabs on domestic duties. 

My Krav Maga coach always said that men are typically bigger and stronger, but women are smarter, and, if trained well, they could effectively defend themselves against any random guy on the street. This is because – exceptions allowed – we women, if trained for it, have greater abilities of multi-tasking and thinking multiple steps ahead more quickly, whereas men are typically single-track thinkers who focus on one thing at a time. A woman in rage is a force to be reckoned with. Ladies, use this! Practice stress management techniques to keep a cool and calm head while in a stressful situation, and learn basic self-defense moves so your muscle memory can pop one out on reflex. Time to channel your inner Wonder Woman!

Common Sense Mentality

Sure, maybe you have a corporate job in a big city, or you go to school near a sketchy area of town. Just be smart! Don’t accept drinks from strangers at bars or parties, and I’d even recommend sticking to bottled drinks or cans like hard cider that you can have opened in front of you to ensure it hasn’t been tampered with. Don’t go in unsafe areas, especially alone and at night. And don’t think you don’t have to be ready. What if you’re going grocery shopping or need to get gas at the nearest gas station, even if it’s not in a great area of town? I heard of thefts at gunpoint happening outside a Whole Foods Market! What if you’re walking your dog and a guy shoots it, then wants your purse, or worse, tries to pull you into a van? You can’t just freeze or scream and expect the problem to go away, although sometimes screaming loudly can be effective if you’re near other people. 

Obviously, if a guy with a gun simply wants your purse, just give it to him. Your life isn’t worth your wallet, even if it’s in a Chanel bag or genuine leather tote. You can freeze your credit cards and bank accounts and report your ID as stolen. In the case of a mugging, throw your wallet down away from you and run in the direction of safety as fast as you can (your mugger got what he wanted). But if a man tries to attack you, you want to be ready to defend yourself or you will be hurt. So many women think they’re keeping themselves safe by complying, but that is not the case. Studies show that when women fight back, their odds of being raped are cut in half! I don’t know about you, but I’d want to learn all I could to avoid a potential rape or trafficking scenario.

Don’t try to engage, learn to escape! This might seem obvious, but you want to give your attacker as much pain as possible in the shortest amount of time so you can hit and run, literally! Practicing moves and scenarios helps build muscle memory and your brain’s ability to react effectively and even strategize moves ahead of time, depending on how the scenario plays out. Here are 12 safety tips I’ve learned and practiced from self-defense and Krav Maga coaches, and I’ve never had a problem in all the years I’ve traveled in and out of the States, including living abroad and traveling solo in big cities like New York City, Chicago, Miami, Paris, Madrid, and London. 

1. Stay Alert

How many times have you walked around in public while absorbed in a phone conversation or texting while walking? Bottom line: do not walk and text or scroll, especially in a populated area. Don’t zone out, whether on or off the phone, but keep an alert eye on your surroundings and the people near you, especially in a crowded area like an airport or a gas station.

If you walk past a car, especially a larger vehicle, scan it quickly as you pass by and don’t walk right next to it. When passing street corners and alleys, walk a decent distance away from the corner and keep your eyes on the farthest point of the wall so you can scan it as you pass by, in case someone might be hiding in the alley.

2. Embody Confidence

Confidence needs to be a key part of your alert posture and physical empowerment! It’s easy to prey on someone who looks weak, but not many men will want to mess with a badass looking woman who carries herself well. Walk confidently, chin up, shoulders back, and walk fast and sure. If you’re in an unfamiliar or crowded area, then you can even pretend you’re a tough military chick or put on a resting bitch face. This is not the time to be super smiley and friendly. I always walk fast and sometimes let myself look a little mean when I’m out in a new or crowded area, and it has served me well. 

3. Don’t Be Out Alone at Night

I said it once and I’ll say it again: Don’t be out roaming the streets alone at night, period, especially downtown. Grab a girlfriend or family member if you’re going out to an event or need to run an errand. Keep your gas filled up enough during the day so you don’t happen to run low if driving at night. If you really have to get gas at night, try to go to a better part of town to a well lit gas station, keep yourself alert and aware of your surroundings, and wait with your back against your car (off and locked) while the gas is pumping.

Stay away from alleys at night! And even deserted areas like parks. This applies even if you’re with a friend or family member. So many bad situations could be avoided by just being street-smart.

4. Carry Defense Items

Always carry pepper spray, a taser, or stun gun, unless you’re going to the airport (you have to keep those in your check-in). You can get pepper spray on Amazon – I personally like this brand. I got this stun gun from Bass Pro. These are great items for your birthday or Christmas wish list (that your parents or your man would love to get you)! Don’t forget to practice handling and turning your defense item on, and always keep it in the same area of your purse or the same pocket to access it quickly and easily. 

5. Don’t Repeat Taken

Everyone will say the girl in the movie Taken was stupid to accept a ride from a stranger, but girls do it all the time! What about school events and parties? Don’t carpool or accept rides from people you don’t know well. (And yes, this most certainly applies to dates and guys on dating apps). Lastly, don’t ride share on Uber or Lyft. A few extra bucks for your own ride is worth your safety.

6. Don’t Leave Your Back Exposed

Check behind you periodically when walking; don’t simply stare straight ahead. When in a crowd, rotate periodically and check behind you.

Stand in front of a wall or against a pole when waiting for transportation, even if someone is asking for directions (although there’s something to be said for mommy’s golden rule of “don’t talk to strangers”). Whenever I’m waiting for an Uber or a train, I stand in front of a wall or a street pole if that’s my only option. 

7. Keep Ahold of Your Valuables

Petty pickpockets love it when girls swing their purses behind their shoulder or put their crossbody bags on the back of their hips. It’s safest to wear your purse on the front of your body or securely tucked under your arm. Keep a hand on your purse. If the strap is on your shoulder, then keep the closest hand on the purse opening. Don’t wear your wallet in your back pocket, and don’t wear flashy jewelry when traveling or in an unfamiliar area of town.

If you’re wearing a backpack and end up in a crowd or riding standing up in a train or bus, wear your backpack temporarily on the front of your body over your chest to avoid leaving the zipped pockets exposed behind you. I had a relative who was traveling abroad and had his iPod picked out of his pocket on a busy tram because he left his backpack on his back. Don't be afraid of looking silly or paranoid, protecting your ego is simply not worth your safety or prized possessions.

8. Know the Weak Spots

In case you get mugged or attacked, you need to have a few moves under your belt and know where to land them. Memorize vulnerable areas like in this video. Weak and vulnerable areas of the body include the eyes, ears, throat (windpipe, larynx), solar plexus (sternum), the breasts on women, and the groin area on men. Even though most attackers are male, especially on female victims, it’s good to be ready for either male or female.

It’s either inflict the most damage and save your life, or pause and leave yourself exposed to getting hurt or killed. If a man is attacking you, then flip on your Hulk switch and try to gouge his eyes out, scratch his face, punch his throat, and scream the loudest you can right into his ear! This might sound graphic, but so are rape and extortion. As adult women living in this world, we need to be aware and ready. If you need to have further incentive, think of those who depend on you and want you alive and well. What if you’re a mother and have your baby with you or nearby? Trust me, you’ll want to kill anyone who threatens your child’s safety!

9. Learn a Wrist Twist

The wrist twist is one of the easiest self-defense moves you can learn, and it’s quick and effective if someone is trying to pick your pocket or grabs you by the wrists to hold or pull you in a direction. Hold your wrist out, have someone grab it, and twist your hand out with your thumb leading outwards. So, if it’s your right hand, it’s turning clockwise outwards; if the left, it’s turning counterclockwise outwards. Second method: Twist your wrist out in the direction where your attacker’s hand opens. See the video below for an example.

You can also practice this move to get out of a neck hold and use your opponent’s weight and position to twist their arm behind their torso (which can really hurt). Once in that position, land a good elbow punch anywhere that works, push your attacker as hard as possible, then run! Practice this several times with a friend or family member until you feel comfortable doing it. 

10. Practice Punches

Here are some good tutorials on how to punch correctly. And many martial arts actually recommend using the palm of your hand to strike, instead of curling your fingers into a fist. 

Also, learn and practice a good elbow punch! Your elbow is the strongest defense weapon on your body, as this video shows. The elbow punch could go in a guy’s face, at his throat, against his sternum, or down on his groin. 

11. Mix Kicks into Your Workouts

Maybe not all the time, but you should definitely practice and get the feel for a good side kick and groin kick with your foot or knee! Keep your eyes on your target, quickly lift your leg up and kick outwards (either straight ahead or to the side), then recoil your leg back in. Stay balanced and remember to kick out fast and pull your leg back just as fast to avoid losing your balance or giving your attacker time to grab your leg. Check out this video tutorial on how to have the proper form.

12. Practice Escaping the Ground

Do whatever you can to avoid getting forced to the ground! Being on the ground makes you significantly more vulnerable and is the gateway to rape or being rendered unconscious. Let the tigress inside you out, and wreak havoc in any way you can!

In the case you might end up on the ground, learn and practice getting out of a ground position, such as in this video. Ask a friend or family member to help you and pose as your opponent. It might seem scary, and might even be a trigger for you, but it’s actually good exposure therapy so you can practice fight-then-flight instead of simply panicking and freezing. 

Don’t try the above tips just once or twice – practice makes perfect muscle memory! And yes, it’s scary to think of these kinds of situations, but being mindful and practicing awareness is a way to avoid the bad situation of being a vulnerable woman at the hands of an evil person who wants to do you harm.